It's Raining Pretzels. George W. Bush "suffered cuts and bruises early Saturday afternoon while mountain biking on his ranch. He was on the 16th mile of a 17-mile ride when he fell [and] suffered minor abrasions and scratches on his chin, upper lip, nose, right hand, and both knees." A White House spokesman: "It's been raining a lot and the topsoil is loose. You know this president. He likes to go all out. Suffice it to say he wasn't whistling show tunes."

According to the Weather Channel website, Crawford, Texas hasn't had a drop of rain for over a week. More lies! ... There are unconfirmed reports that the bike was sent to Gitmo for questioning. ... And believe it or not, Bush said last week that Iraqis are ready to "take the training wheels off" and assume political power. Ha!