It'll Be Wells on Opening Day

It's official. Although Curt Schilling threw 63 pitches in a three-inning simulated game on Wednesday, he will not pitch on Opening Day and may end up spending the first two weeks of the season on the disabled list.

Boston will open in New York -- two weeks from tomorrow! -- with David Wells, Matt Clement and Tim Wakefield. Bronson Arroyo begins a weekend series in Toronto, leaving Wakefield as the home opener starter on April 11. ... The defending World Champions will lineup this way:

Johnny Damon
Edgar Renteria
Manny Ramirez
David Ortiz
Kevin Millar
Trot Nixon
Jason Varitek
Bill Mueller
Mark Bellhorn

Millar, Nixon and Varitek will move around the 5-6-7 spots depending on the opposing pitcher. ... Damon was diagnosed with cellulitis this week, a bacterial infection in his right leg and groin area. ... The Sox have made two rounds of cuts, with Hanley Ramirez heading to Portland. ... Wells on Selig: "He's an idiot, to be honest with you."

The Red Sox episode of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" will be televised June 7. ... Mike Timlin would have refused to appear on the show, continuing to believe that murdering tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis is a-okay, but talking with a homosexual is wrong. ... Oops, suppose to keep my politics here. Sorry.