NESN: Papi's Greatest Hits

Peter N taped this show a few weeks ago and mailed it to me and asked what I thought of it.

It was pretty disappointing (though I'm glad I got the chance to see it).

How the hell can NESN make Flo banging 54 taters dull? Here's how:

1. Cut the clips really short, so we don't see the pitchers' windup or any of the tension of the at-bats.

2. Give no context of the game -- date, inning, score at the time, # of guys on base, pitcher, etc.

3. Show way too much of the crowd. ... They stand up and yell when the ball is hit. We get it.

4. Stick a big logo in the bottom left of the screen, so it blocks some of the action.

5. Use the exact same camera angles we have seen all season long. NESN did include some unique shots, however, so I know they exist.

6. Use split screens -- sometimes even splitting the screen in three -- so we can't really make heads or tails of anything.

7. Include interviews with teammates that were the same ones NESN used bits of in their promos all year.

8. When NESN shows the standing ovation Papi gets when he returns from his heart scare, the shot is from deep left -- with no zoom -- so you can't really see Ortiz raise his helmet.

It didn't look like NESN put much effort into producing this thing at all. They just slapped the clips together and put it on the air. (Note to self: Add "Big Papi does it again!" to the Orsillo Drinking Game for 2007.)

The one HR that gave me some goosebumps was the 3-run walkoff against Cleveland (it included a short Grady Sizemore interview clip). I remember watching that game and both Laura and I saying "well here it comes (naturally)" and then after the ball sailed over Sizemore and into the CF seats just laughing for several minutes.

(Another great shot was seeing Manny in the on-deck circle, hand on his hip, watching the ball sail away with absolutely no expression of his face.)

With some creativity and decent direction/production -- maybe an original Ortiz interview (what an idea!) -- this would have been much better. And then NESN could have made the show twice as long. Red Sox fans will watch an hour of Ortiz.

...

Dear NESN:

Here's what you have to do. Make a DVD called "Walkoff". Include all of Ortiz's walkoff hits from his career (and include the three from Minnesota for fun). Include a little narration -- but each DVD chapter will be the entire bottom of the 9th (or later) inning that ends with Ortiz's hit. Include the mob at the plate and any on-field interview.

Now. You should have had this thing ready to go for Christmas. I apologize for not suggesting it earlier, when I first thought of it -- but whenever you get it out there, it'll fly off the fucking shelves. Now get to work.

Love,