The Yankees converted baseball's highest cathedral into the world's largest commode last night.
With everyone expecting the Dead Bat Society to get a jolt from Alex Rodriguez's return, the Yankees released an odor so toxic across The Bronx that Hazmat suits and nose plugs should have been given to those who walked into Yankee Stadium. ...
In their last 11 games the Yankees have scored 30 runs, are batting .232 (84-for-362) and .147 (10-for-68) with runners in scoring position.
Even Hank Steinbrenner was at a loss for words after the Yankees' latest debacle. ... "There's really not much to say." ...
Tuesday night marked a new low for a team that has seen more than its share of them during the first six weeks of the season.
An error by Derek Jeter and a dismal outing by Mike Mussina put the Bombers in a huge hole before A-Rod could even pick up a bat, rendering his return worthless - unless you count his garbage-time two-run homer that allowed the Yankees to avoid the added humiliation of being shut out.
There are, however, no excuses for last night's beer-league chug of a 12-2 defeat to the Orioles in which Mike Mussina couldn't get out of the first inning; LaTroy Hawkins was ejected for throwing at Luke Scott's head in the sixth with the score 10-0; Johnny Damon played left field like an idiot; and in which the home team allowed eight unearned runs in the first two innings, six in the first following a Jeter two-out throwing error.
Bonus Bondy: "Jeter took a fastball on the left hand from Daniel Cabrera in the third, exiting the game with a bruise that leaves him questionable for tonight's scheduled debacle."
I already have trolls coming to my blog with this latest Yankee misery. Because, you know, if the Red Sox were in dead last, I'd surely want to go see what some random Yankee fan thinks of my team. ???
On the contrary, Jeter, I hope this is as GOOD as it gets for you!
I watched a lot of highlights last night, and they all showed the A-Rod homer. And now one of the NY papers mentions it as well, right on the back page headline. I guess the reason for this was strictly because it was his "return, since it was a 12-2 loss, but, come on, how long was he out for, a couple weeks?
If Manny went on the 15-day DL with sore quads and hit a homerun in his next game, I assume the Boston press would be noting it. "Guess he must be over it", we fans would probably be saying.
I don't think a headline like "A-Rod Homer Futile Because Rest of MFYs Shitty" is inappropriate.
"A-Rod homers but Yanks lose" as your man headline would be appropriate in a 6-3 loss, but not 12-2. Unless he was returning from some major injury that caused him to miss a lot of time. It's not like the world was anxiously awaiting his return.
And it was their one highlight, I'm not saying it should be ignored nationally, but I saw highlights where it was like, two O's clips, and the A-Rod HR.
I think the best writing this morning came from Newsday's Ken Davidoff on Johnny Damon's performance last night: Johnny Damon played leftfield as if he were a fan plucked out of the stands for one of those "Catch a pop fly and win a gift certificate to Wawa!" contests you find at minor-league ballparks. He turned Brian Roberts' first-inning line drive into a triple, failing in his attempt at a diving catch and letting the ball get behind him, and then he chased and dropped Scott's second-inning pop fly as if the ball were the plastic bag from "American Beauty." Can the visuals from this paragraph get any better?
The clips I saw showed the Jeter error, the Damon error, the Millar homerun, the scrub replacement-level pitcher headhunting and getting tossed with ensuing almost-brawl, and the A-Rod homerun.
If only Tampa Bay would start losing, the nightly newsreel would be a perfect storm of Sox highs and anti-Sox lows.
Regarding those probabilities, I was going to say not to count the MFYs out, because this time last year they were equally shitty but still managed to win the wild card.
Looking at the historical coolstandings.com rankings, however, they were 20-24 on May 22, 2007 but still had a 25.4% chance of making the playoffs and were tied for second in the division. Those weren't spectacular odds, but they weren't impossible ones.
George A. King III, Post:
Mark Feinsand, Daily News:
Larry Brooks, Post:
Bonus Bondy:
ReplyDelete"Jeter took a fastball on the left hand from Daniel Cabrera in the third, exiting the game with a bruise that leaves him questionable for tonight's scheduled debacle."
:>)
the world's largest commode
ReplyDeleteSo he agrees the Stadium is a Toilet!
Not necessarily. He could be saying it's a 17th century headdress festooned with lace and ribbons.
ReplyDeleteTie a bow on the MFYs.
I already have trolls coming to my blog with this latest Yankee misery. Because, you know, if the Red Sox were in dead last, I'd surely want to go see what some random Yankee fan thinks of my team. ???
ReplyDeleteOn the contrary, Jeter, I hope this is as GOOD as it gets for you!
I watched a lot of highlights last night, and they all showed the A-Rod homer. And now one of the NY papers mentions it as well, right on the back page headline. I guess the reason for this was strictly because it was his "return, since it was a 12-2 loss, but, come on, how long was he out for, a couple weeks?
If Manny went on the 15-day DL with sore quads and hit a homerun in his next game, I assume the Boston press would be noting it. "Guess he must be over it", we fans would probably be saying.
ReplyDeleteI don't think a headline like "A-Rod Homer Futile Because Rest of MFYs Shitty" is inappropriate.
"A-Rod homers but Yanks lose" as your man headline would be appropriate in a 6-3 loss, but not 12-2. Unless he was returning from some major injury that caused him to miss a lot of time. It's not like the world was anxiously awaiting his return.
ReplyDeleteAnd it was their one highlight, I'm not saying it should be ignored nationally, but I saw highlights where it was like, two O's clips, and the A-Rod HR.
I think the best writing this morning came from Newsday's Ken Davidoff on Johnny Damon's performance last night:
ReplyDeleteJohnny Damon played leftfield as if he were a fan plucked out of the stands for one of those "Catch a pop fly and win a gift certificate to Wawa!" contests you find at minor-league ballparks. He turned Brian Roberts' first-inning line drive into a triple, failing in his attempt at a diving catch and letting the ball get behind him, and then he chased and dropped Scott's second-inning pop fly as if the ball were the plastic bag from "American Beauty."
Can the visuals from this paragraph get any better?
Cool Standings says -- after running 1,000,000 simulations of the rest of the season -- the Yankees have a 2.9% chance of making the playoffs.
ReplyDeleteThat is Damon on the "Bronx Bozos" back page.
ReplyDeleteThe clips I saw showed the Jeter error, the Damon error, the Millar homerun, the scrub replacement-level pitcher headhunting and getting tossed with ensuing almost-brawl, and the A-Rod homerun.
ReplyDeleteIf only Tampa Bay would start losing, the nightly newsreel would be a perfect storm of Sox highs and anti-Sox lows.
Regarding those probabilities, I was going to say not to count the MFYs out, because this time last year they were equally shitty but still managed to win the wild card.
ReplyDeleteLooking at the historical coolstandings.com rankings, however, they were 20-24 on May 22, 2007 but still had a 25.4% chance of making the playoffs and were tied for second in the division. Those weren't spectacular odds, but they weren't impossible ones.