I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay. I didn't set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I'm happy to start the conversation. ...
No one wants to live in fear. I've always been scared of saying the wrong thing. I don't sleep well. I never have. But each time I tell another person, I feel stronger and sleep a little more soundly. It takes an enormous amount of energy to guard such a big secret. I've endured years of misery and gone to enormous lengths to live a lie. I was certain that my world would fall apart if anyone knew. And yet when I acknowledged my sexuality I felt whole for the first time. ...
Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it's a good place to start. It all comes down to education. I'll sit down with any player who's uneasy about my coming out. Being gay is not a choice. This is the tough road and at times the lonely road. ...
The most you can do is stand up for what you believe in. I'm much happier since coming out to my friends and family. Being genuine and honest makes me happy.
ESPN analyst Chris Broussard: "If you're openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, (but) adultery, fornication, premarital sex between heterosexuals ... I believe that's walking in open rebellion to God."
Didn't you find it a bid odd that the reporter had to describe each person's marital status and number of children, as if to say, "Hey, this guy is straight." I think he was trying to show that men of all different ages and backgrounds felt this way, but he could have done that by just using their age and birthplace or something. Why marital status?
Amy, you mean Gordon Edes' story, that Allan linked to above?
It's not just ages and backgrounds he's looking for. He's purposely looking for a diversity of orientation and family status as well. How does this person with a hetero marriage and kids feel about it, how does this straight single man (supposedly the athletes most threatened by their teammates' sexuality) feel about it, and so on. I don't know how else he could have done that.
Mike Napoli's "people choose to do what they want" is a bit disturbing, but I'm glad he said he has family and friends who are gay.
I know what Edes was trying to convey, but I still find how he did it objectionable. Does it really matter that they are married or have children, except to say that therefore we assume they are not gay themselves? I understand his point, but I think he could have done it a less offensive way. Telling me how old each player is would have been enough to make the generational point. Since almost all of them were married, it just seemed very heavy handed to me.
I thought Lester's comments were disturbing, but I guess he was just being honest, FWIW.
Nice article. I thought Lester's comments were the most questionable in terms of what his views might be. But being able to say "no comment" isn't such a bad thing either.
If we are not supposed to judge someone for being gay. Why is alright to judge someone for their opinion not supporting gays?
The thing that sucks in situation like these is if you are a writer or a player or anyone, you cant win. Your comments will always be shredded apart.. And that is whats too bad.
If I was a player I would want to know who on my team was a cheater , beacause that is going to cost me wins, not who you love...
Jere , . Maybe it is just me but this is such a none issue for me. I just don't care....
I don't have any feelings about what Jason Collins did. In my mind if you are gay or not I just don't care.
To me it is a personal issue, I do not need to know.
I do believe at any point in ones life they may find they prefer the same sex. Everyone is not born that way. My son is 8 and thinks girls and kissing are gross, I am sure he wasnt born that way, and life will decide whether he is staright or gay...
"Because in the first case, the person isn't 'doing' anything. They can't control how they were born.
In the second case, the person is 'choosing' what opinion they have."
Jere,
How does one determine what a person is "born" into and what they "choose" to embrace?
I think Collins did a brave thing.
I think the outpouring of support for him has shown a massive sea change on this topic. Which is a good thing.
I think the Chris Broussard's and their obsession with sex and apathy towards greed (because Jesus NEVER talked about that) is the product of the same type of curiositas that was considered sinful in the Medieval Ages. For good reason.
But I am also not surprised there are those who will not get over Collins' orientation, just as there are those who weren't able to get over Mitt Romney being a Mormon.
Like Patton Oswald suggested: Focus on the good, because they've long outnumbered the bad. Mostly, anyway.
People may be born at any point on the vast continuum between 100% hetero and 100% gay, then allow themselves to be socialized in one direction or the other, or repress one side or the other. It's a lot easier to be hetero in our society than to be gay.
There are not two ways people are born, either or. There's a huge variation in between.
I am neither a woman or gay, but still in today's society , in my opinion, it is harder to be a straight woman than it is to be a gay man.
It's probably best to avoid the who-has-it-worse competition. It usually depends on the context.
We could probably name several examples in either direction - from lethal gay-bashing attacks, to partners not permitted near their beloved's hospital beds, to denial of benefits, on one side - to a whole host of sexism and discrimination (not to mention rape and other violence) on the other.
But I do appreciate your acknowledgement of sexism.
To clarify, what I meant by easier is that heterosexuality is assumed. No one ever has to come out as straight. You grow up in a straight world and almost everyone assumes you are straight.
LGBT people can either live in secret or must come out to friends and family, and will always be the minority.
Jason Collins:
I'm glad to see so many people coming out in support of Mr. Collins. I'm glad to see the walls coming down.
ReplyDeleteNicely done. I hope this creates opportunities for high school and college-age athletes to be honest with themselves and others.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jason Collins! Well done!
ReplyDeleteI heard a rumour that 3 NFL players are coming out before the start of next season. If true: wow.
Good for him, good for sports, good for all of us. I admire his courage.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone is on board, of course.
ReplyDeleteESPN analyst Chris Broussard: "If you're openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, (but) adultery, fornication, premarital sex between heterosexuals ... I believe that's walking in open rebellion to God."
Red Sox players offer comments
ReplyDeleteDidn't you find it a bid odd that the reporter had to describe each person's marital status and number of children, as if to say, "Hey, this guy is straight." I think he was trying to show that men of all different ages and backgrounds felt this way, but he could have done that by just using their age and birthplace or something. Why marital status?
ReplyDeleteAmy, you mean Gordon Edes' story, that Allan linked to above?
ReplyDeleteIt's not just ages and backgrounds he's looking for. He's purposely looking for a diversity of orientation and family status as well. How does this person with a hetero marriage and kids feel about it, how does this straight single man (supposedly the athletes most threatened by their teammates' sexuality) feel about it, and so on. I don't know how else he could have done that.
Mike Napoli's "people choose to do what they want" is a bit disturbing, but I'm glad he said he has family and friends who are gay.
I know what Edes was trying to convey, but I still find how he did it objectionable. Does it really matter that they are married or have children, except to say that therefore we assume they are not gay themselves? I understand his point, but I think he could have done it a less offensive way. Telling me how old each player is would have been enough to make the generational point. Since almost all of them were married, it just seemed very heavy handed to me.
ReplyDeleteI thought Lester's comments were disturbing, but I guess he was just being honest, FWIW.
The Red Sox tweeted last night:
ReplyDelete"We salute you, @jasoncollins34 for your courage and leadership. Any time you want to throw out a first pitch at Fenway Park, let us know."
LA Times
Nice article. I thought Lester's comments were the most questionable in terms of what his views might be. But being able to say "no comment" isn't such a bad thing either.
ReplyDeleteIf we are not supposed to judge someone for being gay. Why is alright to judge someone for their opinion not supporting gays?
ReplyDeleteThe thing that sucks in situation like these is if you are a writer or a player or anyone, you cant win. Your comments will always be shredded apart.. And that is whats too bad.
If I was a player I would want to know who on my team was a cheater , beacause that is going to cost me wins, not who you love...
"If we are not supposed to judge someone for being gay. Why is alright to judge someone for their opinion not supporting gays?"
ReplyDeleteBecause in the first case, the person isn't "doing" anything. They can't control how they were born.
In the second case, the person is *choosing* what opinion they have.
Imagine if I asked, "Why can't I judge someone for being black, while it's okay to judge someone for their opinion to not support blacks?"
Jere , . Maybe it is just me but this is such a none issue for me. I just don't care....
ReplyDeleteI don't have any feelings about what Jason Collins did. In my mind if you are gay or not I just don't care.
To me it is a personal issue, I do not need to know.
I do believe at any point in ones life they may find they prefer the same sex. Everyone is not born that way. My son is 8 and thinks girls and kissing are gross, I am sure he wasnt born that way, and life will decide whether he is staright or gay...
"Because in the first case, the person isn't 'doing' anything. They can't control how they were born.
ReplyDeleteIn the second case, the person is 'choosing' what opinion they have."
Jere,
How does one determine what a person is "born" into and what they "choose" to embrace?
I think Collins did a brave thing.
I think the outpouring of support for him has shown a massive sea change on this topic. Which is a good thing.
I think the Chris Broussard's and their obsession with sex and apathy towards greed (because Jesus NEVER talked about that) is the product of the same type of curiositas that was considered sinful in the Medieval Ages. For good reason.
But I am also not surprised there are those who will not get over Collins' orientation, just as there are those who weren't able to get over Mitt Romney being a Mormon.
Like Patton Oswald suggested: Focus on the good, because they've long outnumbered the bad. Mostly, anyway.
Dave Zirin writes how this announcement did not take place in a vacuum.
ReplyDeleteAmy, I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it ok to find bigotry objectionable? Because it's bigotry. I believe in right and wrong, and bigotry is wrong.
People may be born at any point on the vast continuum between 100% hetero and 100% gay, then allow themselves to be socialized in one direction or the other, or repress one side or the other. It's a lot easier to be hetero in our society than to be gay.
ReplyDeleteThere are not two ways people are born, either or. There's a huge variation in between.
Imagine if I asked, "Why can't I judge someone for being black, while it's okay to judge someone for their opinion to not support blacks?"
ReplyDeleteThis.
Sorry, didn't see it earlier.
. It's a lot easier to be hetero in our society than to be gay.
ReplyDeleteI am neither a woman or gay, but still in today's society , in my opinion, it is harder to be a straight woman than it is to be a gay man.
I am neither a woman or gay, but still in today's society , in my opinion, it is harder to be a straight woman than it is to be a gay man.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably best to avoid the who-has-it-worse competition. It usually depends on the context.
We could probably name several examples in either direction - from lethal gay-bashing attacks, to partners not permitted near their beloved's hospital beds, to denial of benefits, on one side - to a whole host of sexism and discrimination (not to mention rape and other violence) on the other.
But I do appreciate your acknowledgement of sexism.
To clarify, what I meant by easier is that heterosexuality is assumed. No one ever has to come out as straight. You grow up in a straight world and almost everyone assumes you are straight.
ReplyDeleteLGBT people can either live in secret or must come out to friends and family, and will always be the minority.