November 4, 2017

Phillies Hire Gabe Kapler As Manager; "Coconut Oil Is A Phrase"

The Philadelphia Phillies hired Gabe Kapler as their new manager last Thursday.

Todd Zolecki, MLB.com:
Of course, the Phillies also looked deep into Kapler's background, which included a handful of eyebrow-raising posts on his lifestyle blog about men's health.
Are you curious about what is meant by "eyebrow-raising posts"? I was.

As soon as word of Kapler's hiring leaked, the intrepid sports media trawled the internet, looking for information/dirt on The World's Strongest Jew. Kapler's blog KapLifestyle (to which he posted from December 2013 to February 2017) is still online. In June 2014, he posted "Coconut Oil - Beyond Cooking":
This post aims to save you at least $39. Go ahead and trash your body lotion ($8), chapstick ($3), teeth whitening mouthwash ($6), face cream ($15) and KY jelly ($7). Replace them all with pure, unrefined, organic coconut oil. ...

The sun has set, and the moon is out. Perhaps you have a friend nearby, perhaps it's just you by your lonesome...well, this is awkward. I've promised you authenticity, honesty and openness. Take this how you wish and I'll spare you the step by step. Coconut oil is the world's greatest lubricant. I can't help where your mind goes with this. Once the ball leaves the bat, I can't steer it.
Howard Eskin, a longtime Philadelphia sports talk radio and TV host, was not pleased. He tweeted his disgust in several tweets, including one that described Kapler as "a little to [sic] nutty". Also:
"Here he is .. your new #phillies manager Gabe Kapler. If his analytics don't work as a manager maybe he can be a model for leopard thongs."

"I wonder how much more will come out on Gabe Kapler. His ideas not exactly along lines of ownership."

"Call it what you want. He's not the kind of person you want as the new face of your #phillies franchise. He sure does love himself. Will players take instruction or laugh at him. Or will public laugh at him. If he didn't love analytics and sports science GM may be laughing too"

"Think kids that love to follow #phillies are ready to hear his ideas about use of coconut oil. Baseball is a family sport. Don't think parents are on board with hearing this stuff about the manager."

"Lots of things need to be addressed these days."
Some thoughts:

1. The picture that Eskin included with the first indented tweet is a decent example of soft-core gay porn.

2. Anyone else notice that Eskin's first sentence in the fourth tweet appears to say young Phillies fans are ready for Kapler's oil ideas? All it needs is an "I" at the beginning.

3. Eskin initially states that Kapler's ideas are "not exactly" the same as those of Phillies management, but then he implies that it's a good thing for Kapler that his ideas (love of analytics, for example) are similar to those of Phillies management. ... Oh, Eskin must have meant his ideas about masturbation!


And so Eskin took the brave step of bringing up this touchy subject at the Phillies' press conference:
Eskin: [Phillies general manager] Matt [Klentak], earlier you expressed there were no reservations with some of the things that you saw that Gabe had written on his blog and had tweeted. I'm trying to figure out if - you said there were none, there are none - and as far as Gabe, Gabe, are you proud of some of the stuff - you said you express yourself. I don't want to get specific, but I'm - there's an elephant in the room - people here, I mean, coconut oil is a phrase. I threw it out there. Gabe, any reservations? And Matt, any reservations? Gabe, for putting it out there, and Matt, while you were in the interview process?

Kapler (looks at Klentak): I'll take it first. Certainly, like I mentioned before, much of what I have written is several years old. And when I was writing, I was in a different mindset than I am now, as the manager of the Philadelphia Phillies. Even with that said, if you look through the various posts, there is some tongue-in-cheek stuff that I had directed to players, because I thought it might make them laugh. Thinking through it, there are some things I might have written a little bit differently. Certainly, we all make mistakes and miss the mark from time to time, but if you go back and look at those posts, they were meant for health. They were meant to help people be more prepared and stronger. And so - they're imperfect, I'm imperfect, but I am also very proud of a lot of the content that I would encourage people to go back to and dig into and find the stuff that really does hit the mark.

Klentak: I would - I agree and support everything he just said, but I would kind of repeat what I said earlier, I think as we try to move the needle here, as we try to move this organization forward, some of that is - there's an element of risk and new behaviors and trying new things. That's inevitable. And I think that's part of what we are excited about with Kap's arrival here, is that this guy has demonstrated that, over the last handful of years with the Dodgers, with a tremendous amount of success. And I think, we can't project exactly how the next few years are going to play out, but boy oh boy, it's going to be fun, and as I said to Jim's question earlier, we are going to embrace a lot of his ideas and we're going to collaborate on them as we try to push this thing forward and bring the championship trophy back to Philadelphia.
It's not clear if this is one of the "new behaviors" and "new things" the 2018 Phillies will try in spring training.
If you want to be your strongest, get some sun on your boys. And by boys, I mean your testicles.
Too bad Eskin did not get a chance to ask a follow-up question.

2 comments:

laura k said...

I'll always have a soft spot for Kapler, as he spoke out clearly and strongly about relationship violence. I hope the blog post will not become a huge distraction. But it's probably too late for that.

FenFan said...

Howard Eskin loves a good dry rub