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April 27, 2018

PawSox Will Ban All Fans Named "Tyler" Or "Austin" From Upcoming Games Against MFY's AAA Team


The Pawtucket Red Sox will host an "Evil Empire Weekend" on May 5-6, when the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders (the MFY's AAA team) visit McCoy Stadium for two games.
To start, any fans named Joe or Kelly will be admitted for free to that weekend's games, while any fans self-identifying as Tylers or Austins will be banned from the premises. In addition, fans who confess to being named Aaron, Gary, Aroldis, Didi, CC, Jacoby, Masahiro, Giancarlo (or Mike) will be charged double the price of a regular ticket. ...

Out on Mondor Way, PawSox fans will be able to test their "Kelly-esque" accuracy throughout the weekend, with a pitiable Yankee fan appearing in a dunk tank for fans of all ages to submerge with pinpoint command. ...

There will also be a costume contest at Saturday's game, where one lucky fan dressed in his or her best (but tasteful) "anti-Yankee" apparel will win a free pair of 2018 season tickets at McCoy. The winner will be chosen by crowd vote immediately after the Saturday game ...

Highlights from the Red Sox's historic 2004 ALCS comeback vs. the Yankees will also be shown on the video board throughout the weekend, along with other dramatic Boston conquests from history (of which there are many).

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