August 19, 2006

Rant

Example

30 comments:

allan said...

What the fuck is wrong with these underachieving assholes? After completely shitting the bed against the Royals and Rays, they limp through the Tigers, but everyone knows they'll get up and bring it to the Yankees. Big 5-game series in mid-August. Home ball park. Time to step it up, right? No. Just horseshit pitching by all three starters -- Beckett was the worst of the three with nine walks -- and completely ineffectual relief from the pen. And the hitting has dried up completely. 0-for-16 with runners and second and third in Game 1, followed by countless mailed-in at-bats, hacks at shit pitches, refusing to work the count against pitchers who are struggling with their control, and just assbackwards fielding. All topped off by a manager that seems to be readying the fucking white flag when he fills out his lineup card. If the bats are in a slump -- and the pitchers are horseshit -- the fucking least thing you can fucking do is put out the best possible chance at scoring some goddamn runs. That's your JOB.

I hate Josh Beckett. Stupid asshole moron no-balls shithead. He's supposed to be an ace. Some fucking ace. Keep milking that 2003 World Series complete game, you asstard. Gopher's got to be about the dumbest fucking pitcher in the league. Won't read a scouting report, laughs at Schilling's preparation, can't set up hitters at all because he's fucking unwilling to throw his curve (oooh, might get blisters!) so every two-bit jackshit hitter in the league sits back and waits for the fastball with a shiteating grin on his fucking face. But does Beckett (or the allegedly master handler of pitchers Varitek (god I'm fucking sick of hearing that shit too, he's fast becoming our own Cap'n Intangibles) ever fucking learn? No. Cementhead just goes out there with his fucking chin hair thinking he can blow gas by everyone and be an ace, and he gets hit again and again and again and again and again. Isn't he embarassed? Doesn't he think he ought to try a different tact? ... Three more years of this shit? Fuck you.

Could he maybe brush a Yankee hitter back? Even once? They score 189 runs on Friday and get to dig in nice and solidly at the plate today. La la la. No one on the staff has any balls. Will Schilling shave Damon off with Pitch #1 tomorrow night? He fucking A better. Something gotta happen. Anytime the Sox got a run, the pitchers -- each and every one of the talentless unable to throw strikers gave it right back. It's gotta be a new record of suckiness.

There is so much worthless shit on this roster. Seanez was finally thrown from the train, but why is Tavarez still using bullpen oxygen? Eat the contract and DFA his ass too. Or trade him for a bag of Cheetos. I don't fucking care. And maybe the young arms would pitch a little better if they weren't brought into bases loaded jams every other fucking appearance by their drowsy shitcock of a manager.

Go away, Mirabelli. One HR every two weeks isn't enough. Average finally over .200? Wow. Good for you. Lopez sucks too and he shouldn't be batting any higher than 8th. EVER. And what does Gabe Kapler do to deserve a roster spot? Seriously, what? He's got the worst fucking muscle-to-power ratio of any hitter in the history of ever and he sucks balls in the outfield. What? He's a nice guy and the other players like having him around. Okay, so have him be a fucking bench cheerleader then.

I know we've had injuries -- that the team on the field right now is not the team we were supposed to have. We've been without key players for long periods of time and we've paid theprice. But Theo and the rest of the front office have failed to recognize these problems in any sort of reasonable time frame and have not been able to fix them.

I sat through 1978. I sat through 1986. I sat through 2003. I sat through the first three games of the 2004 fucking ALCS. And I'll sit through 2006 -- because, for one thing, it can't hold a candle to those nightmares. Plus I'm a stupid moron who is stuck on this piece of shit bus with nothing better to do with my evenings than watch these pussies roll over for each and every team that comes to town.

Anyone else got a gripe?

Anonymous said...

Well said.

Danie said...

Ooh, I know, okay, here's what to do. So, someone tells Beckett to actually throw a Curveball once in a while (or hey, anything other than a fastball). Then we trade Tavarez for a bag of Cheetos, and Beckett can rub the Cheetos on his blisters....

Now, why am I a Red Sox fan again? Oh right, I'm insane...

Anonymous said...

Fire Francona. Now.

This is as pathetic a display I can remember from a team who've mailed it in more times since the All-Star break than the US Postal Service. The season, as I see it, is over barring the injection of a Lou Pinella or someone of his ilk that will not allow his team to lay down like 25 fucking lambs without chewing some serious ass.

The Sicilians have an expression that pertains to management malaise and incompetence - the fish rots from the head. It's clear that our favorite fish, Terry Francona (hookus unwillingus) has lost the team, and it's time for Sox management to fire him and get someone else on the top step to lead this pack of lethargic underachievers while there's still a remote chance of saving the season.

Doesn't someone on this team have a set of cojones? What will it take for a few of these guys to start getting pissed and announce that they're just not going to take it any more? Maybe seeing Tito and his kid gloves walk out the door might just do the trick.

Sure, Schill and a couple of the other lads may get a case of the ass when their "player's manager" is shown the door, but tough shit. For me, the final straw was Tito toddling out to the mound in the 6th on his fake knee, looking like a latter day Gabby Haines to give a half-hearted plea to Shit for Brains Beckett to please, pretty please, find the plate on Rodriguez with the bases full.

Instead of patting him on the ass, he should have stood there and challenged him to find his balls, or better yet should have given him the hook after walk NUMBER SEVEN OR EIGHT! The pep talk worked so well that Ball-less Becket walked Slappy on four straight pitches. Well done.

Beckett has to be the biggest example of premature adulation since David Clyde. For a team whose exploits in under achievement may go down as unequalled in the annals of the franchise, who is going to help these guys find their hearts, their balls, and their pride?

If anyone out there thinks its Terry Francona, (Yankee fans not eligible to reply), I'd really like to here a cogent counterpoint.

allan said...

Me, in the third inning: There must be some Tito-Theo tension going on ... It feels like one of the Jimy-Duquette feuds of yesteryear.

How in the world could Francona possible defend batting Lopez 5th after Manny? If only one of the beat writers would ask him and keep asking until they get a direct answer.

And if I see Coco at the top of the lineup one more time this year, I'm gonna go nuts. If Hinske can hit, I'd put Pena in CF and Hinske in RF a few times a week until Crisp can get his shit together and maybe look at a pitch or two before hacking away, and stop trying to bunt his way on.

If Tito puts out a lineup like he did for Game 2 yesterday and the bats go AWOL, then bitch about the players. But when the lineup looks like it came from Mr. Weebles, then the manager gets some heat too.

I cannot believe that Theo would approve of some of the decisions Francona is making with the lineup and the bullpen. There is a good chance he's gone at the end of the year, if things keep going down the shitter.

allan said...

gutch:

Theo has not given the manager a top-notch roster, but Francona has not shown the ability to use the parts he has in a correct or even coherent way. Both are to blame.

Jim said...

I wonder how Hinske feels now about coming over from the Jays? Maybe Tito should let him share his thoughts on the locker room chalk board.

laura k said...

I hate Theo.

I hate Tito.

I hate baseball.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe this is all happening when Ortiz has 42 homeruns on the season already. That in and of itself is a travesty. Although I think Francona has made his share of asinine decisions and has really had problems putting the pieces together, both in the lineup and in the bullpen, I think the FO should bear the brunt of the criticism. They almost entirely dismantled a WS winning team before the champagne had even lost its fizz. I feel as though, and I'm sure the players have gotten this message loud and clear as well, that the FO's priority has been keeping costs down and developping a group of cheap talent several years down the line. Games continue to sell out at an alarming pace etc, so they're bottom line hasn't and will not take a hit. But it's a damn shame, especially for Ortiz, Manny, and Schilling and us poor shmucks whose bottom line is getting out of debt in time for retirement.

Earl said...

While I certainly have my gripes with Francona, I have a hard time blaming him for much that's happened so far this weekend. The pitchers (starters and bullpen) have recently shown us how much just they suck...so it's silly to keep complaining about Tito's bullpen management - the Sox are screwed no matter what he does. Yes, the lineup today was atrocious (Lopez 5th?!?!), but that just wasn't the problem - even with what I think we all agree is an optimum lineup (yesterday evening's), they can "only" score 10 runs. With this pitching staff, 10 runs/game still translates to an 0-3 record so far this series. Ugh.

9casey said...

26-14 over 40 games = 95 wins

Possible - Yes

Likely - No

The problems are glaring, but what changed. You can talk about Tek being overrated. But the stats prove otherwise, 6-12 without him.

Wake 14-17 without him.

Nixon the record sucks without him as well.

Its puzzling it really is......

I have never been so annoyed watching them play.....

Theo's boys just don't have IT.

Crisp, what is his function

Pena, c'mon shave of the look alike Ortiz beard , you don't deserve to have his facial hair.

Hansen, Delcarmen, Lester- Garbage

Beckett- I don't get it..THROW A FUCKIN STRIKE

Loretta- Good Sign if not a great sign... But Theo will let him go at the end of the year... Just because..

Ramirez- Not Theo's
Varitek- Not Theo's
Youk- Not Theo's
Schill- Great sign
Ortiz- Lucky Sign

Bottom Line is the kid GM's this team like we are the fuckin Twins.

When I go to Fenway I know what it costs me...Don't humiliate this franchise with the likes of Johnson, Seanez, Tavrez, Lopez, Snyder, Harris, Snow, Mohr, Corey, Pauley, and Breslow.......

Who the fuck are these guys......

We are the Red Sox dammit!!



Don't play us as jackasses ...If you wanted to strip it down then strip it down.....but stop low balling these guys and telling everyone you can't have a no trade clause and 4 years 40 million thats it thats are final offer...

Well wake up you metrosexual wonderboy ,and spend the fuckin money.....Because we want to win now, next year, and the year after...you think 2004 was going to let you sail threw the nation .until you made the cover of GQ, think again...

You wanted to play with the big boys and didn't come back until Lucchino got out of your sandbox.

Well pick up a shovel....

Whatever..........

Peter N said...

The pitching staff misses TEK. Hell, the whole team does. But the starters, and relievers especially. That's what I wrote about in my short post today. A short post fueled by yesterday, and the day before.

laura k said...

But the stats prove otherwise, 6-12 without him.

This doesn't prove anything. It's too small a sample size and there are too many other factors for it to be causal. Just because everyone repeats it doesn't make it so.

The Couch Potato said...

I'm wracking my brain & I really can't remember the last time the Sox had such a suck-ass pitching staff. Maybe in the late 60's-early 70's?

Isn't Oil Can Boyd still playing semi-pro ball? He ought to be cheap enough.

allan said...

It's only one stat, but according to the ERA+ stats at The Hardball Times, both Seanez and Tavarez have had better seasons than Beckett.

ERA+ is measured against the rest of the leage and adjusts for park factors. 100 is average, above is better, lower worse.

Both of the EZ boys have been just a hair below average (JT 98, RS 97). Beckett's ERA+ is 88 -- the same as Kyle Snyder's.

Other starters: Schilling 122, Wakefield 114, Lester 100, Wells 77, Clement 71.

Pen: Timlin 126, MDC 107, Foulke 89, Hansen 79 ... and Papelbon 532.

A lot of things have gone wrong this year -- but Beckett's performance has to be the most disappointing.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that I hear "remember the 2004 ALCS?" from so many Red Sox fans? How does that help the Sox now. Referring to past acomplishments to make up for current woes is simply a cop-out. You never hear Yankees fans saying "remember the 2000 WS" or "2003 ALCS" because those things don't matter any more. Its much more fun to live in the present while trying to win this season then it is to dwell on the past while going through hell. I am neither a Red Sox or Yankees fan but it seems that Red Sox fans worry more about hating the Yankees than loving the Sox. Its almost an inferiority complex. Case and point: http://pubpages.unh.edu/~bberger/pics/pedrojeter.jpg ...If I can give some advice I'd say worry about what's going on in your own house instead of someone elses.

allan said...

You never hear Yankees fans saying "remember the 2000 WS" or "2003 ALCS" because those things don't matter any more.

That's right, it's all about the future, Yankees fans never, ever think about the pas--

What's that? You have a link for me to click on?

Okay. [click].

Look at that.

What does it say in small print there on the back?

"Hardware - There is no better feeling than a ring on your finger. The Yankees have more rings than you can shake a SOCK at. 26 to be exact. OH ... One more thing, it won't be 86 years before our next one."

Huh. How about that. You're right. Yankees fans are famous for how they look only to the future.

Jim said...

Yesterday I was trying to find a word to describe what I was seeing (a 10-year old can come up with "fucking awful"). A caller to 'EEI' just nailed it. They were uncompetitive. That pretty much sums up the 39 runs and 28 walks, the 0-16 with RISP in game 1, the lineups that Tito is running out there (except for game 2, when Sox scored 11) and the "bolstering" the front office has provided the woeful pitching staff. Uncompetitive. That has to be the worst word a professional can hear. Time to sack up, boys.

Anonymous said...

"Look at that."
That's just a t-shirt from some store trying to make a buck. I'm sure Red Sox stores have their own such things as well. Thats not really my point. On the news today a reporter was interviewing a Red Sox fan after saturday's game and after being asked what their thoughts were they said something to the effect of "it's alright (infront of a yankee fan), remember the 2004 ALSC". All I could think to myself was how irrelevant that was to mention that. If your a red sox fan, why watch another game for the rest of your life. Just refer back to 2004. If the Red Sox come in last place in 2008 will 2004 still be good enough?


"Huh. How about that. You're right. Yankees fans are famous for how they look only to the future. "

laura k said...

Referring to past acomplishments to make up for current woes is simply a cop-out. You never hear Yankees fans saying "remember the 2000 WS" or "2003 ALCS" because those things don't matter any more.

I was a Yankees fan for 28 years and have spent more time in Yankee Stadium, regular and post-season, than probably anyone who reads this blog.

The Yankee organization and their fans talk CONSTANTLY about past championships, past heroics, and past fucking everything. It's so obvious it hardly bears saying. Have you seen the Dent homerun (on YES or on the Stadium scoreboard) lately? The Boone homerun? Mr. November? The Chambliss homerun? DiMaggio walking through the 56 sign? Gehrig's speech?

The Yankees identify themselves as "the most celebrated sports team in history" and talk about nothing BUT the number of pennants and championships they have won.

One t-shirt??? You can't possibly be serious. Either you've been a Yankees fan for 30 seconds or you live on Mars.

Every team should celebrate their past accomplishments, and fans should as well. Celebrating history does not mean you don't care about the future. But for a Yankees fan to say that their team doesn't dwell on the past is beyond bullshit. It's obscene.

Redsock, I hope you don't let your blog become a Sox Fan vs Yanks Fan forum. There's enough of that shite all over the net already.

Anonymous said...

So you were a Yankees fan for 28 years, and now your a Red Sox fan?

laura k said...

You got it, baby. Shit happens. I divorced pinstripes and remarried crimson hose. And I couldn't be happier about it.

allan said...

My mistake. No anonymous comments.

laura k said...

Yesterday I was trying to find a word to describe what I was seeing (a 10-year old can come up with "fucking awful").

Ten-year-olds can be very wise.

allan said...

Redsock, I hope you don't let your blog become a Sox Fan vs Yanks Fan forum.

I have no problem with Yankees fans commenting here -- or even Red Sox fans that might disagree with me (gasp!) -- but they must be civil (now that I think about it, they have to be more civil).

Michael G. Benoit said...

This has nothing to do with anything important, but I was at that freakshow of a game yesterday, and I could have sworn that Papi's entrance music for his last at-bat was Gnarls Barkley's Crazy. According to Wikipedia, Papi's intro theme is The Notorious B.I.G.'s "Big Poppa"... I'm going to tonight's game too... I'll try to listen for it. It'll give me something to do if the game sucks. :(

allan said...

He might have different music for each AB.

When we went to Yankee Stadium years ago, we could always count on "You Shook Me All Night Long" as Tino Martinez's 2nd PA (or 3rd?)music.

And "Baba O'Reilly" for O'Neil and Mike Stanton having that ultra-shitty Aldo Nova song, which I refuse to type the title of.

allan said...

hey, i put up an advisory (and put it in comments to keep it away from impressionable young minds)! (thanks for calling it epic)

basic civility to other posters was what i had in mind.

laura k said...

I wonder why so many commenters are so sensitive to curse-words. Or as someone so delicately put it "blue language".

allan said...

your first visit to a blog and thinking of starting trouble -- thanks for giving me a good idea of where you're coming from.

any and all "trouble" will be deleted as soon as possible -- and that would be the case even if boston was leading the east by 30 games.

go search for the posts yourself -- you know the time period. the results of four games is no gauge of any ballplayer. (remember when jeter went 0-for-25 and heard tons of boos at yankee stadium?)

i still believe that the pile of damon money was better spend elsewhere.

a hot weekend does not = 4 long years.