October 9, 2007

Schadenfreude 31 (A Continuing Series)

Updated again (with words)!



















Mike Puma, New York Post:
Death, taxes, Derek Jeter producing in the postseason. You can remove the last component from that list.

Jeter disappeared for the AL Division Series ... The Yankees captain had two singles in last night's 6-4 loss to the Indians in Game 4 of the ALDS, but finished the series 3-for-17 (.176) with no homers and one RBI. ...

Jeter's last chance to make a big contribution came in the sixth inning last night after the Yankees had cut Cleveland's lead to 6-2 and put runners on first and third with one out. With the Stadium buzzing, Jeter hit into a double play, all but pouring a bucket of cold water on the season.

Only adding to Jeter's offensive woes, he did not walk in the series and struck out four times. Over the final two games he hit into three double plays.

There was no such heroic moment for Jeter in this series. He was an October mess, as were the Yankees.
Joel Sherman, New York Post:
... by the ninth inning last night, many seats at a quiet Yankee Stadium were empty, as if a new reality had overwhelmed the old; the mystique and aura giving way to frustration and recriminations. No more champagne, just pagne.

"We earned the right to go home," Cashman said.

73 comments:

redsock said...

Happy Yankee Elimination Day!

phrenile said...

Yay.

s1c said...

I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning, it smells, like YANKEESS LOST!!!

redsock said...

SoSHers bringin' the haiku:

OilCanShotTupac:

Ultimatum George
Could not rally his proud Yanks
Joe picks nose at home

Chien Ming Wang could not
Pitch better than a crippled
blind leper gay nun

visalia oak:

Sizemore hit a bomb
ARod meaningless homer
Buh-bye Joe Torre

Clemens spit the bit
Two hands clutched around their throats
Cy Wang pitched like shit

RedOctober3829:

Jeter hits into DPs
A-Rod sucks the monkey yet again
Wait 'till next year

Mourning Woodward Jr:

Sinatra's playing
At Yankee Stadium tonight
But not 'cause they won

Colin said...

Awesome haikus.

UZi said...

Huzzah!

We go on, the Yankees do not. Happiness.

tim said...

"Just smile and wave goodbye my friend, it's the last laugh before I turn my head"

thatdietcokegirl said...

cheers!!

redsock said...

Alright! Already got the Saturday shift switch taken care of ... Now to schedule a full or half vacation day for Friday -- and I'll be all set.

Woti-woti said...

This is going to be great. The Yankees spending all winter eating their young, their old, their infirm. And Jeter totally sucked. Can't blame ARod--the whole team was like a slow-leaking tire.

Also can't wait till Fri. nite. The real Manny we haven't seen all year is back. We beat these guys. We've even got a better shortstop.

On a sour note, I'll need earplugs before following those TBS tools to the Arizona desert. Caray gets more obnoxious with every game.

But how can there be a sour note on YANKEE ELIMINATION DAY!! GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!!

thatdietcokegirl said...

i was gonna try a limerick, but i'm blank ;/

nice haikus tho.

ish said...

NESN's showing one of their "Walk-Off Sox" games... against the Indians.

tim said...

i was gonna try a limerick, but i'm blank ;/

There once was a team from new york!
Their champagne, as always, is corked!
They blew it, we knew it
The wahoos could do it,
Now Wang can make sweet sour pork!

eh? eh?

ish said...

Heh. Paul Byrd started this game. It was last year. Wily Mo just hit a double into the triangle.

NESN already trying to get people geared up for the ALCS.

thatdietcokegirl said...

*applause* nice, tim! ;D

9casey said...

I am happy the yankees lost , but it is still more fun to beat them...Then watch them get beat....

Tim nice limmerick? no class

Jere said...

"More to come ..."

A winter's worth.

ish said...

Johnny Damon on Joe Torre:

"Hopefully there will be some reconsideration, but the Boss does what he wants,"

Devine said...

Good.

I'm still nervous about facing the Indians...but I'm so glad the stupid hype machine is dead.

Amy said...

So nice to wake up to the last edition of schadenfreude for the 2007 season.

Now, on to the ALCS! What will I do until Friday? Perhaps catch up on some idiotic TV? Read something other than baseball stuff? Get some work done? Make all those return calls to friends and family I have been avoiding? Or sit at the laptop with the JOS crew and start anticipating the games against Cleveland? Hmmm, time will tell!

accudart said...

hooray for Yankee elimination! It'll make for great reading, the Yanks will have to find some direction. I don't really blame Torre as much as Cashman. Will the big three really walk?

Tony said...

Congrats to the Cleveland Indians on playing their asses off and beating (NOT upsetting, as Chip Dumbass Carey would have you believe) the Yankees.

Alan, I have to say that when you started this series, I worried that karma would come back and slap the Sox over the head. I'm glad to say that I was wrong. The day the Yankees exit the playoffs is always the happiest day of the baseball year for me (well, non Red Sox related, anyway). I'm tired as hell, but it was worth it to see the Indians celebrating on the field of the Stadium.

Now to watch our guys kick their sorry asses. Go Sox!

redsock said...

So nice to wake up to the last edition of schadenfreude for the 2007 season.

We shall revel in their off-season misery, too.

redsock said...

Reader Dan W. submits a new nickname for Slappy:

Miss October

"A-Rod, My god 6-55(?) in his last 16 playoff games, really? Sit it out."

*********

I have Alex at 9-for-61 (.098) beginning with Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS.

redsock said...

Suzyn Waldman is recapping Torre's press conference when she breaks down and starts crying.

BWHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

redsock said...

ish, you gotta include that in your montage!!

also, mike and the mad dog will be solid f-ing gold today!!!

redsock said...

More SoSH haiku:

cannonball1729:
My goodness gracious
Of all the dramatic things
I have ever seen

Danny Heep:
Wang lost two big games
Roger retire, you fat fuck
Jeter cries tonight

George will fire poor Joe
Good thing Torre has goldmine
Deep in his nostrils

The Boomah:
Boss meets Joe Torre
Boss: "Nice to see ya, Tommy!"
Boss drools; Torre stays.

jmcc5400:
Sizemore rounding third ...
Here's Damon's throw to the plate ...
Bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce.

Smiling Joe Hesketh:
Two hundred million
Flushed down the toilet again
Must spend more next year

educatedcheese:
bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz
yummy fat Joba carcass!
bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz

BANZAI!!!:
HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA YOU SUCK

And from the 2006 Party, DLew on Roids:
Jeter, anusface
Jeter, Jeter, anusface
Jeter, anusface.

ALSO: WFAN "has been playing Suzyn crying on the air all morning."

CaKeY said...

Funny... Last night I was the biggest Cleveland fan.. in two days I'll hate them lol.

Tony said...

BTW, that "Next Year" jersey is classic.

I can't wait to see what the offseason has in store for the MFY - new manager, A-Rod Watch, possible defections, etc. I hate their guts on the field, but am endlessly fascinated by them off of it.

Joe Grav said...

any links to audio of suzyn waldman crying on the air?

Sir Jahmez said...

Wow. All I can say is wow. Couldn't quite make it through the game last night...had to get my butt up out of bed at 6am - but FRICKEN AWESOME! I think Red Sox Nation should declare Oct. 8th a holiday. And the other thing, it's my birthday - what a great thing to wake up to!

ish said...

ish, you gotta include that in your montage!!

I've got it. I think John Sterling was choking up a little bit too!

ish said...

Our next broadcast will be on the first Saturday next March from Legends Field in Tampa. I don't have the starting pitchers for you just yet, but I know we're going to be playing someone.

-John Sterling, last night.

redsock said...

SG: The Cashman-Headwarmer Dialogues: Special ALDS Edition

Soxaholix: "OK, kids, today's vocabulary word is Schadenfreude."

Jere: "How great was the Jeter double play? And then the out he made in the ninth. As my girlfriend said, How come they didn't show his parents after those at bats?? ... I guess if you're a Yankee fan, you'd be "shocked" by the Indians beating you--that's what Caray kept saying. He blurted out, at one point, "this is absolutely amazing," referring to the Indians adding to their lead. Really? The team tied for the best record beating the wild card team by a few runs is "absolutely amazing"? They "shocked" Yankee fans? If they'd been shocked, they would've stayed for the whole game, instead of leaving early because they knew their team would lose. No faith, these Yankee fans. But I don't blame 'em, with the group of chokers they have to root for year after year."

redsock said...

SoSH has a members area in which there is a thread called "Continuing to Make Fun of NYYFans", which collects the best [sic] posts at the MFY fans message board.

This is amusing (note the bold):

From "justinvarnes" in The Coalition to Bring Back ARod thread:

A-Rod,

You've proven you can do it in NYC. You've proven you can hit again in the postseason. You've got a GREAT young pitching staff to win for and make your production even more meaningful. You've also got a young core of kids who look up to you and will help you stay loose and enjoy the game.

You want to win a ring? Look at the talent and the resources the Yankees have. You've already shown you can get it done in the 4 slot. You know year in - year out you'll be playing in October. Ask Derek Jeter about that. Or how about Pettitte and Clemens who came back for another taste? They couldn't get enough. I doubt you could get enough either.

And lastly, did you hear that crowd tonight? There's NOTHING like that. In ANY sport. They love you and your legs will get sore from climbing all the steps from all the curtain calls you'll get. You'll get a plague in the new stadium and be forever connected to the Greatest Team in Sports History...and YOU can sit atop that.

Please come back. We need you and you need us!

********

:>)

redsock said...

More haiku:

TheBenzingerGame:
Manny has a sign:
"Jeter is golfing today"
It's reusable.

Nuf Ced posts this bit o' fun for your breakfast: Toast

Zenslinger said...

I agree.

Congratulations to the Yankees for making to the playoffs in a difficult year which saw their pitching in transition and a lot of injuries. Cleveland was clearly the better team.

Congratulations to all those Yankee players and coaches that had a lot of good years. Now they can move along like everybody else.

It's every team's goal to win the WS. To throw your manager under the bus by threatening him in the national media is ridiculous. If you can't be happy your team made it to the postseason, if a first round exit is such a crushing disappointment, then to that extent George and the Yanks can eat shit.

But apart from that, well played and see ya next year.

westcoastsox said...

Freakin' hilarious haikus!

Here's my two cents:

Schadenfreude Is Back
See Yankees Descend To Hell
Joy of Sox Kicks Ass

westcoastsox said...

I'm still laughing at the bug haiku! bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz

L-girl said...

No more champagne, just pagne.

Love it!!! The "next year" jersey is also great.

Funny how we've been so troll-free lately.

Or not.

L-girl said...

Tim!!! LOVE the limerick!!!!

L-girl said...

I have to say that when you started this series, I worried that karma would come back and slap the Sox over the head.

By now everyone should know that there is no such thing as karma in baseball.

Believe in it if you choose in the larger existential sense, but when it comes to baseball, there is no hocus-pocus.

No karma, no mystique, no magic-when-you-put-on-the-jerseys. When you gloat nothing "comes back to bite you" (if things go awry, it's not because you gloated).

No lucky shorts, no words you can't say, no angering baseball gods that don't exist, no special skinny pens. (Sorry, Allan.)

There are just the games, the players, the managers. What we do doesn't effect one single thing on the field.

L-girl said...

You know, earlier this season, when the Sox had a huge lead, some of us were openly gleeful.

Other JoS commenters told us gleeful ones that we should be more subdued - because if we were too happy, bad things would happen to the Sox, and we would all be humiliated.

Personally, I am so happy that I enjoyed every single minute of this amazing season to the fullest extent I could.

If it hadn't gone our way - if we had blown the division or lost the DS - every fan would have been hurting, the ones who were thrilled and believed all along, and the ones who held their breath waiting for The Bad Thing to happen.

Nothing can change the outcome, but I for one am glad I believed in this team every second of every day.

L-girl said...

You'll get a plague in the new stadium

OMG!!!!!!! THIS IS MY FAVOURITE TYPO EVER!!!

L-girl said...

Woti: great comment.

Zenslinger said:
It's every team's goal to win the WS. To throw your manager under the bus by threatening him in the national media is ridiculous. If you can't be happy your team made it to the postseason, if a first round exit is such a crushing disappointment, then to that extent George and the Yanks can eat shit.

This is exactly right. Right there, that's a huge part of what drove me away from them.

It's why I react so strongly when Red Sox fans act that way. Save that shit for the Yankees.

L-girl said...

Reader Dan W. submits a new nickname for Slappy:

Miss October


I thought sexism was unwelcome here.

L-girl said...

My favourite haikus here:

Manny has a sign:
"Jeter is golfing today"
It's reusable.


and

Schadenfreude Is Back
See Yankees Descend To Hell
Joy of Sox Kicks Ass

The Couch Potato said...

Unlucky thirteen
A-Rod nine for sixty-one
Invisible Man

****

There once was a man named Torre
Who again in October says "Sorry"
"We just couldn't do it"
So George says "Just screw it"
and throws Joe under a lorry.

****
Happy YED everyone!

Zenslinger said...

It's why I react so strongly when Red Sox fans act that way. Save that shit for the Yankees.

And they do sometimes. It's very disturbing.

I fllirted with the idea that the Steinbrenner threat was a media ploy, and that they were winking at each other about it. But the obvious emotion there for Torre and other belies that.

It's not that the Yanks don't need a shakeup in the form of a new manager. It's just so absurd to call out an employee who has been so successful for 12 years, and then fire him -- not because they need a change, but because he could only field the third- or fourth-best team in baseball.

Bray said...

hi redsock
thought you would appreciat this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/09/sports/baseball/09sandomir.html?ref=sports

ish said...

Terry Francona just announced the pitching rotation for the ALCS. Of course, I missed it, so I'll wait for the update on the Globe.

ish said...

Here we go.

Game 1: Beckett vs. Sabathia
Game 2: Schilling vs. Carmona
Game 3: Matsuzaka vs. Westbrook

Zenslinger said...

Extra Bases is saying Schilling in game 2. I think that's the thing to do.

Tony said...

By now everyone should know that there is no such thing as karma in baseball.

Believe in it if you choose in the larger existential sense, but when it comes to baseball, there is no hocus-pocus.

No karma, no mystique, no magic-when-you-put-on-the-jerseys. When you gloat nothing "comes back to bite you" (if things go awry, it's not because you gloated).

No lucky shorts, no words you can't say, no angering baseball gods that don't exist, no special skinny pens. (Sorry, Allan.)

There are just the games, the players, the managers. What we do doesn't effect one single thing on the field.


You're right, Laura. I guess there's still a little of the pre-2004 Red Sox fan still in me. Well, the Yankees are gone, so hey - lesson learned. ;)

Listening to Mike & the Mad Dog on WFAN - they are ripping apart the Yankees, taking shots at Jeter, Wang, the front office, everybody. It is glorious beyond words.

Zenslinger said...

I didn't realize until I was skimming the largely idiotic comments on Foxsports.com's "A-Rod Fails to Shine" that the Indians beat the Evil Empire on Indigenous Peoples' Day / Columbus Day. What a blow to colonialism.

redsock said...

Somewhere I have the mp3 file of M&MD the day after the Red Sox won the 2004 pennant. Nothing will top that, but I'll bet today is pretty enjoyable.

no special skinny pens. (Sorry, Allan.)

Micron Mojo cannot be stopped!

redsock said...

"Count the rings, baby!"
Go back to two thousand one
It's a big fat zero.

Blame A-Rod for tank
Why did he not pitch at all
Selfish -- no calm eyes

Torre - get out now
Sit home -- watch Yanks finish third
Boss wants more pudding

Tony said...

Somewhere I have the mp3 file of M&MD the day after the Red Sox won the 2004 pennant. Nothing will top that, but I'll bet today is pretty enjoyable.

I still remember that show - I found it in the fervor of looking for Red Sox stuff after Game 7 (hearing Jon Miller's calls of the Damon GS and the end of the game were tremendous - that he has to do radio while Joe Buck does TV is a legit crime). You're not lying - that first break was incredible. I think Mike wanted to cry, and Mad Dog sounded like a kid who got everything he wanted for Christmas. If you could find it, I'd love to hear it again.

redsock said...

Excellent pitching matchups.

redsock said...

Jeter flops in clutch
3 G I D P
Where did the ghosts go?

L-girl said...

the Indians beat the Evil Empire on Indigenous Peoples' Day / Columbus Day.

Extra wonderful :)

L-girl said...

I guess there's still a little of the pre-2004 Red Sox fan still in me. Well, the Yankees are gone, so hey - lesson learned. ;)

Tony, that's brilliant. Now don't forget it!! ;-)

Also, my comments weren't directed only at you. There was plenty of hand-wringing and storm-warnings all season. It was a running JoS theme - the gloom-and-doomers vs the relax-and-enjoys.

L-girl said...

There once was a man named Torre
Who again in October says "Sorry"
"We just couldn't do it"
So George says "Just screw it"
and throws Joe under a lorry.


I am very partial to limericks. This ones's great.

It's not that the Yanks don't need a shakeup in the form of a new manager. It's just so absurd to call out an employee who has been so successful for 12 years, and then fire him -- not because they need a change, but because he could only field the third- or fourth-best team in baseball.

Essackly.

redsock said...

MORE!

No Pepper
Jeter's fall training
Working on range to his left
Stretch for the remote

86spike
Paul Byrd resists porn
No porn seems to makes you clutch
Jeter must loooooooove porn

bugs like to eat shit
bugs like to eat Joba, too
Joba: piece of shit

Crying in baseball?
Suzyn can't help but break rule
each tear gives me wood.

Penis-shaped nose Joe
Can start a freakshow career
Pissing out his schnozz

Mattingly's parents
were brother/sister, know why?
Don's inbred long neck

OilCanShotTupac
Bottom of the 6th
Jeter bids to bring Yanks back
4-6-3 DP

Nuf Ced
Has-been Free Agents
Yanks elimination means
Big Payday coming

Time off this autumn
Posada can go shopping
Needs to buy a chin

Empyreal
Home run in seventh
A-Rod texts Boras quickly:
"Now clutch in playoffs"

Wade Boggs Hair
Once measured in rings,
first round playoff exits now
define True Yankees.

Maalox
Hours after their
Joyous humiliation,
I am still erect.

redsock said...

OilCanShotTupac

Hey Johnny Damon
Shorter hair and more money
Is losing any fun?

Zenslinger said...


No Pepper

Jeter's fall training
Working on range to his left
Stretch for the remote

Nuf Ced

Time off this autumn
Posada can go shopping
Needs to buy a chin


These are my faves because they have the proper seasonal reference. But I loved the lorry limerick as well.

GK said...

I love it when the Extra Bases entries on Boston.com sometimes have unique typos.
The yankees entry today spelled them as 'yabkees'. I think they have since corrected it .
Once they spelled Clemens, as Clemons. I immediately pictured a "lemon throwing" Rah-ger !

L-girl said...

Jeter's fall training
Working on range to his left
Stretch for the remote


This is quite brilliant.

Amy said...

It amazes me just how creative and poetic all you haiku and limerick writers are. Thanks for sharing. I haven't read this much poetry in quite a while! It would be great to collect and place them all in one link on JOS to review when we are feeling discouraged perhaps in some future season or just need a good laugh!

Jere said...

With all due respect to Dan W., they've been selling shirts in Kenmore Square for years that say "A-Rod: Mr. April/Miss October." And I always thought it was brilliant because it has the meaning of: "he's great in the beginning, but he misses out on the ring at the end. "Miss" is a verb."

And I swear I was going to write that anyway, but as I scrolled through, I did see L-Girl's thing about sexism. Which I'm totally glad she did, because that's what I thought at first, until I realized the other meaning. (Don't get me wrong, I'm sure some people wear that shirt thinking it means "he's female, and that's bad," but the way I think of it, it's not sexist, just hilarious.)

Thanks for the link, Allan.

Also, "no more champagne, just pagne"-- And no more champions, just pions.

Zenslinger said...

The first page of John Rolfe's blog does a good (and funny) job of summing up the Madness of King George vis a vis Joe Torre. I've never read this guy before but this is pretty nice.

9casey said...

Just found out game 2 is a real possibilty for me, If anyone from Joy Nation will be there maybe a beverage is in order......

jonfrankel said...

To the tune of New York, New York (aka the Yankees stadium post win theme song):

Start spreading the news
The Yankees are done
A-Rod struck out again & again
New York, New York

200 Million Bucks
Can't buy them a hit
Hey Derek, Johnny, Jason, Bobby
you're swinging like shit

If you want to wake up in a city that's playing ball
make sure the guy on the hill, isn't asleep.
Joe Torre's news
he's going away
They'll make a brand new start of it
in old New York

If they can't make it now
Steinbrenner's gonna lose it somehow
And so goodbye New York, New York