October 15, 2009

Christmas Is Coming

This is not a joke.

From the reviews:
America used to be a simple place, didn't it? The pilgrims set the tone by using religion as a unifier, not a bludgeon. Our neighbors, such as the Native Americans, were respected as natural inhabitants and were treated as such. Our country could do no wrong and you can hear that perfection in McCarver's voice.

&

[I]n the process of listening to an entire great American songbook, your brain will take you away to anywhere between three and seven pictures, idylls and reveries that tap into the collective unconscious memory of what it meant to walk amidst eden. Each song is delivered with what I can only describe as a kind of calm-eyed beauty that seems to recursively calm the process of singing the song itself.
Example
Here are 14 words that I never thought I'd write in my life:
I would rather listen to this Tim McCarver album than Bob Dylan's latest offering.

17 comments:

tim said...

LOL. When I took one look at the album, that new Dylan album immediately popped into my head. And then you posted about it.

Well sir, I disagree. I would rather listen to the nails on a chalkboard that is Dylan, and yes I have a complete and utter disdain for Christmas music, than listen to two seconds more of McCarver than I have to.

And that first review is priceless. Fucking priceless. "...Native Americans, were respected as natural inhabitants and were treated as such."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

L-girl said...

The pilgrims set the tone by using religion as a unifier, not a bludgeon.

!!

Our neighbors, such as the Native Americans, were respected as natural inhabitants and were treated as such.

!!!!

L-girl said...

calm-eyed beauty

CI makes a guest appearance?

L-girl said...

Ha ha ha, Tim and I had the same reaction: !!!! How funny.

Someone needs a history lesson! You don't even need to read Howard Zinn. Standard history textbooks will show both these claims to be beyond laughable.

redsock said...

That "Free M. Roloff" is totally brilliant.

I say to you, Tim, the totality of the songs on your album is shaped like my grandma's apple pie. It's time to order myself another slice.

Someone else calls the CD a "feast fit for a jeter"!

That Dylan Xmas album is a fucking abomination. I'd call it "Shatner-bad" but there is no humour in it.

I hate that style of music, but McCarver actually doesn't sound all that bad. Listening to Sinatra sing the same songs would annoy me just as much.

redsock said...

And "Jeb Lund" namechecks Brandon Arroyo.

Adam said...

hahahahahaha

tim said...

This could be a good thing, maybe McCarver will fully retire from calling baseball games so he can focus the full efforts of his vocal chords on his singing career.

Do it, Tim! Reach for the stars!!!!!

Benjamin said...

I'd call it "Shatner-bad" but there is no humour in it.

That also wouldn't be fair to Shatner. You don't have to be drunk or high to listen to Shatner.

johngoldfine said...

"Each song is delivered with what I can only describe as a kind of calm-eyed beauty that seems to recursively calm the process of singing the song itself."

I wish the reviewer hadn't said that this was the best and only sentence he could come up with that would describe McCarver's singing because it really makes no sense at all. At least I haven't noticed beauty calming my singing lately, not even recursively.

James said...

I love how "America's songbook" is apparently only comprised of shitty Sinatra-style "jazz." We can't at least hear a Tim McCarver "Darling Corey?" Or maybe him playing trumpet on "It Never Entered My Mind?"

redsock said...

At least I haven't noticed beauty calming my singing lately, not even recursively.

"Calm eyes" is an infamous McCarverism referring to how wonderful and amazing Derek Jeter is in the field. McCarver once swooned over CI's poise when catching a routine pop-up and noted that his "calm eyes" helped him not over-react in the field.

In a similar vein, the phrase "elegant gait" refers to when McCarver once said that one reason why Mariano Rivera was so successful as a pitcher was because of his elegant gait as he jogged in from the bullpen.

When it comes to certain Yankees, McCarver has a bit of puppy love goin' on.

redsock said...

It looks like McCarver first said "calm eyes" in Game 1 of the 2004 ALCS. I wrote back then:

"And what the fuck was with McCarver talking about Jeter's "calm eyes"? (That's worse than saying (as he did last year) that one of Rivera's strengths is his "elegant gait" coming in from the bullpen.) Damn, Timmy, just propose to the guy and get it over with."

ScottishJames said...

I agree with James; and I'd pay to hear Timmy doing a cover of Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.

SoSock said...

EEK!
This has got to be bad. I hope I never really find out.
Although I heard a couple of slices from the Dylan offering and I must say - gag, cough, puke. It would be hard to imagine that McCarver could sound much worse.

Damn, Bobby, I never wanted to say this, and I still love ya and all that.... but..........damn.

tim said...

Maybe he can cover "Enter Sandman" so they can play it in New York when Rivera enters.

Lisa Swan said...

Lisa from Subway Squawkers here. This Yankee fan actually agrees with you on McCarver's thing for Jeter. When Jeter made an error last night, Tim took pains to explain it away. Heaven forbid the captain be a mere mortal and ever make an error.