Schadenfreude 175 (A Continuing Series)

Mark Feinsand, Daily News:

Following a half-billion dollar face-lift, the 2014 Yankees were supposed to look much different than the version from a year ago. So far, it's hard to tell the two apart. ...

The Bombers went 0-for-10 with men in scoring position, giving them a meager .111 mark (2-for-18) in their first two games. They struck out 10 times, stranding eight runners for the second night in a row. ...

It's hard to call the third game of a 162-game season a must-win, but getting swept by an Astros team that lost 111 games last season would make for a very long flight to Toronto Thursday night. ...

It looked as though Kuroda picked up right where he left off last season, when he finished with an 0-6 record and 6.56 ERA in his final eight starts.

Joel Sherman, Post:

Where have you gone, David Adams and Ben Francisco?

For all the concentration on the signing of Masahiro Tanaka and the first-game collapse of CC Sabathia, most of the money spent in the offseason and most of the problems through two games are on a Yankees offense that has managed three runs. ...

There have been many culprits in this 0-2 stinker. No one, though, has looked as bad as Alfonso Soriano. He is hitless in eight at-bats, five of which have come with men on base, four with runners in scoring position. He has struck out four times and managed to get just one ball out of the infield.

George A. King III, Post:

Looking at last years' club led the Yankees to spend $283 million this past winter on free agents Jacoby Ellsbury, Brian McCann and Beltran. They are a combined 5-for-23 (.217) with one extra base hit ...

John Harper, Daily News:

It's only two games, but it's two games against the Astros, the worst team in baseball the last three seasons, and the Yankees have exactly two extra-base hits. ...

Didn't the Yankees spend nearly half a billion dollars over the winter to guarantee a dynamic offense — and assure their fans it wasn't a mistake to let Robinson Cano to flee to Seattle? ...

[I]t was beyond startling to watch Matt Albers, a 31-year-old journeyman righthander come on in the seventh ... and blow away the middle of their lineup as if he were Roger Clemens in his prime. Albers struck out Derek Jeter to end the inning with a runner at second base. Then after allowing a leadoff double to Carlos Beltran, he mowed down Brian McCann, Teixeira and Alfonso Soriano, all of them swinging. ...

Look, there still 160 games to play, but put it this way: if this is the new normal, better brace yourselves.