April 12, 2006

G8: Blue Jays 8, Red Sox 4

Blue Jays - 320 020 010 - 8 16 1
Red Sox - 000 211 000 - 4 6 0
Tubby McFatty made another rehab start last night. Unfortunately it was at Fenway Park, where the Blue Jays slapped his flat pitches around for five runs in the first two innings -- and the subsequent loss counted in the AL East standings.

And this tub of goo bitched to Tito about not being given the #2 starter spot? Bah.

Dustan Mohr and Wily Mo Pena hit home runs -- as did Ortizzle -- but it was not enough.


Robin said...

He is one tubby SOB. So when he goes down for the year with a snackfood related injury, do we spring for Clemens? Or trade the FARM for Willis? Or does everything get shuffled around and Papelbon starts... and we have to deal with the heart attack that is Foulke. By my count... not enough pitchers!

Anonymous said...

For once, Joe Morgan chimed in with a quasi-astute observation when Nip finally went out to pay a visit to his LHP/Lard Ass: "Why is this man (Wells) smiling?"

We've all grown quite familiar with the indifferent, "I could care less" persona that Wells brings to the mound and to the interview room. While in many cases it has evoked a certain rakish, old-school approach, I found last night's ass-whipping induced, shit-eating grin just a little more disconcerting.

You'd think we'd have seen just a bit of the consternation, determination, exasperation, and/or self-flagellation that Wells has demonstrated in the past when he's struggled. I've seen more effort and determination from guys pitching BP which, come to think of it, must have been what the Jays thought they were getting.

Instead, with his team off to a torrid start and the opportunity to take the first two in the series from the Jays, Wells' demeanor, body language, and performance screamed of a guy hoping for his unconditional release.

After showing up in Fort Myers with trade demands in hand while rehabbing his knee with 15 minutes a day on the bike, it's clear that no GM in his right mind was preprared to give up anything more valuable than a bag of baseballs and a few rolls of tape for this once-feared LHP who has sunk to tomato can status.

After then demanding the #2 hole in the rotation, calling Tito an idiot (not the first to have done so, I know), and getting knocked around in his AAA start, last night's performance and the aforementioned attitude made one wonder if he is trying to jake his way out of town.

Arroyo is gone, and there's nothing that can be done to put that particular genie back in the bottle. However, provided that he doesn't show up in the AL (especially in the Bronx), how long will it be before Theo comes to the conclusion that even a bag of baseballs is preferable to a sack of shit?

Send him to KC where he could really have some fun! How about Texas where the guys who typically throw out the first pitch at Fenway could be viable #4 starters? A summer in Arlington would be great for Boomer, where the searing summer sun could prove a cost-effective option to gastric bypass surgery, systematically reducing his bloated physique to Eddie Gaedel proportions before Labor Day.

Let's hope Theo can paraphrase the classic from Henny Youngman - take my LHP...please!. The sooner it happens, the better off we'll be.

Jack Marshall said...

Wow...let's count the ways in which all this venom is excessive, if not entirely undeserved:

1) It's more than a little strange for a blog that is hypersensitive to perceived racial or ethnic slights to resort to denigration of other personal charcteristics. I guess its regarded as fair game to deride someone because of thier genotype here, but to this over-weight ethicist, I think its rank hypocrisy. Wells is just about as fat as he's always been. I guess if someone ridiculed Luis Tiant or Rich Garces about their rotundness, it would be proof of bigotry, but Wells is a lesser human being because of his weight. Let's elevate the rhetoric, shall we?
2) Wells stunk...just like he did last year in his first outing. If he duplicates last yaer from here on, he'll still be one of the best 4th starters in the league. It's awfully premature to talk about him as if he's washed up.
3) Arroyo wouldn't have pitched in a game before last night, and I for one am thrilled to see a genuine slugger playing right for the Sox. Jon Lester is about a month away; Foulke has looked very much better (the man did win the goddamned Series...have some respect); Hanson is on the way. No matter how good he looks for one inning a game, the Sox would be better off having Papelbon throwing 7-9 of them. He's the next starter in the pipeline, and would have been even if Arrojo stayed. PLENTY OF PITCHERS!!!
4) Yeah, I hate it that Wells bullied the Sox into giving him his rehab start in the majors, but you know what? It's Tito's job to say no. I blame him.
5) Wells gets less money if he doesn't pitch well enough to start. He's a lifetime quality pitcher. It is, frankly, just silly to make such a big deal out of one rotten start.

allan said...

good stuff, yaz.

it's nothing new from wells.

during the 2003 WS, he laughed about how fat he was and how he didn't exercise much, then his back fucked up and he flamed out in the second inning and sank any hope the Yankees had of beating the Marlins.

then for two springs with the Sox, he's blabbed about how he knows his body and knows what he needs to do to get ready for the season. and has proceeded to then get his pitches smacked all over the lot.

i never liked him anyway -- how can you root for a blowhard with such thin skin -- but i'm beyond sick of him at this point.

i kinda wish tito had written the game off, and let him rot out there on the hill, amid the ever-louder boos.

i do feel confident that the club will not give wells much rope.

Jack Marshall said...

I really hate to call you on these things, Redsock, but that last comment is absurd on its face. Wells is 42; he's outlasted 98% of his thinner contemporaries, plus an awful lot of the "fit" starters much his junior. He won 15 game at age 41 last year ...Fewer than 10 pitchers have been able to do that in baseball history. How can you question his conditioning? Obviously, however he looks, what he's been doing has worked; he's still pitching while most pitchers have fallen by the wayside. You don't have to like Wells...I think he's a major jerk...but when he says he knows his body, the record says he's right. The issue for Wells isn't his weight...it's his pitching skill. And one night tells us very little about that.

Stankyfish said...

I'm sick of Wells laissez-faire attitude. He's a cancer. If he was lights out, I can see putting up with it (as with Manny and his bimonthly antics) but unless Wells wants to come out and pitch, he sucks.

Some nights he's comes out and is dominant, even still, but I've about had it with his could-care-less attitude, particularly when it's wrapped around a 7 ER stinker.

Zenslinger said...

Agree or not, Yaz laid a fine piece of writing on us there. Thanks for taking the time to do it right.