April 12, 2006

G8: Blue Jays 8, Red Sox 4

Blue Jays - 320 020 010 - 8 16 1
Red Sox - 000 211 000 - 4 6 0
Tubby McFatty made another rehab start last night. Unfortunately it was at Fenway Park, where the Blue Jays slapped his flat pitches around for five runs in the first two innings -- and the subsequent loss counted in the AL East standings.

And this tub of goo bitched to Tito about not being given the #2 starter spot? Bah.

Dustan Mohr and Wily Mo Pena hit home runs -- as did Ortizzle -- but it was not enough.

4 comments:

Robin said...

He is one tubby SOB. So when he goes down for the year with a snackfood related injury, do we spring for Clemens? Or trade the FARM for Willis? Or does everything get shuffled around and Papelbon starts... and we have to deal with the heart attack that is Foulke. By my count... not enough pitchers!

Anonymous said...

For once, Joe Morgan chimed in with a quasi-astute observation when Nip finally went out to pay a visit to his LHP/Lard Ass: "Why is this man (Wells) smiling?"

We've all grown quite familiar with the indifferent, "I could care less" persona that Wells brings to the mound and to the interview room. While in many cases it has evoked a certain rakish, old-school approach, I found last night's ass-whipping induced, shit-eating grin just a little more disconcerting.

You'd think we'd have seen just a bit of the consternation, determination, exasperation, and/or self-flagellation that Wells has demonstrated in the past when he's struggled. I've seen more effort and determination from guys pitching BP which, come to think of it, must have been what the Jays thought they were getting.

Instead, with his team off to a torrid start and the opportunity to take the first two in the series from the Jays, Wells' demeanor, body language, and performance screamed of a guy hoping for his unconditional release.

After showing up in Fort Myers with trade demands in hand while rehabbing his knee with 15 minutes a day on the bike, it's clear that no GM in his right mind was preprared to give up anything more valuable than a bag of baseballs and a few rolls of tape for this once-feared LHP who has sunk to tomato can status.

After then demanding the #2 hole in the rotation, calling Tito an idiot (not the first to have done so, I know), and getting knocked around in his AAA start, last night's performance and the aforementioned attitude made one wonder if he is trying to jake his way out of town.

Arroyo is gone, and there's nothing that can be done to put that particular genie back in the bottle. However, provided that he doesn't show up in the AL (especially in the Bronx), how long will it be before Theo comes to the conclusion that even a bag of baseballs is preferable to a sack of shit?

Send him to KC where he could really have some fun! How about Texas where the guys who typically throw out the first pitch at Fenway could be viable #4 starters? A summer in Arlington would be great for Boomer, where the searing summer sun could prove a cost-effective option to gastric bypass surgery, systematically reducing his bloated physique to Eddie Gaedel proportions before Labor Day.

Let's hope Theo can paraphrase the classic from Henny Youngman - take my LHP...please!. The sooner it happens, the better off we'll be.

allan said...

good stuff, yaz.

it's nothing new from wells.

during the 2003 WS, he laughed about how fat he was and how he didn't exercise much, then his back fucked up and he flamed out in the second inning and sank any hope the Yankees had of beating the Marlins.

then for two springs with the Sox, he's blabbed about how he knows his body and knows what he needs to do to get ready for the season. and has proceeded to then get his pitches smacked all over the lot.

i never liked him anyway -- how can you root for a blowhard with such thin skin -- but i'm beyond sick of him at this point.

i kinda wish tito had written the game off, and let him rot out there on the hill, amid the ever-louder boos.

i do feel confident that the club will not give wells much rope.

Zenslinger said...

Agree or not, Yaz laid a fine piece of writing on us there. Thanks for taking the time to do it right.