August 13, 2009

Remy Visits Fenway, Hopes To Return

Jerry Remy met with the Boston media yesterday and then spent the second inning in the NESN booth -- what he called a "trial run, a simulated game" -- with Don Orsillo and Dennis Eckersley.

The following quotes are taken from the Globe, Herald, ProJo, and
All during last season, this was kind of weighing on my mind. I didn't know what it was, and I kept taking CT scans every three months with the understanding that at the end of the season, [the surgeon] was going to take it out.

I went in the week before Thanksgiving; they took that out. That couldn't have gone better. There was no followup treatment, there was a CT scan every six months, no chemo, no radiation, none of that. I couldn't have been luckier. It's the things that happened afterwards that kind of threw me for a loop.

Right after that I got hit with an infection. That came right at the end of January, and into spring training. That put me right into Mass General for ten days, and then three weeks of antibiotics. That was probably worse than the surgery. I lost 25 pounds.

Looking back on it, it was probably my fault that I went to spring training. I wasn't strong enough [emotionally or physically]. So I started to crash. We got to Anaheim [after opening the season at home], and I went to bed, and the next morning I got up and felt like I got run over by a truck. I knew right there, I was trying to trick myself into thinking I could do this.

Don saw me crash firsthand. It wasn't fair to go on one day and work, and then not work. We all decided [at the end of April] that a leave of absence would be the best thing to do. With all that, it all finally came crashing down on me. ...

Physically, I'm back. Mentally, I think I'm on the right path. I've been fighting depression for the last couple of months. I'm in therapy for that, trying to get the meds right, trying to get all that right.

I can't watch the games on TV. I can watch the national games, because I wouldn't be working those. But the NESN games, I can't watch, because I'm supposed to be there. It makes me feel guilty, and brings me down even more.

It's been very hard for me. People deal with cancer all the time, people deal with depression. I'm not embarrassed by that. I'm not immune to all that. But I will say this - these last two years have been very trying. ...

I didn't know until 2:30 [today] that I was coming. It sounds crazy, but kind of a big step was coming to the McCartney concert because I got back to the ballpark. It's weird. I felt like, "I'm home." The better I felt, there had to be a day I had to come here. I looked at [my wife] today and I said, "I think I'm going to go in today." She said, "Get in there, get in, go hang around." ... I can't say I feel great, but I'm here, where a month ago, I would have not been here.

I'm anxious. I'm not going to lie. I feel a little nervous. I just want to get back to work — and get back into the flow of what I do. This depression thing's been tough.

I plan on coming back this year but I can't give a day because I've already passed two deadlines of my own


Gareth said...

The Jerry moment was great, although my father, at his first Red Sox game, was completely mystified by all of the cheering at the half-inning break; explanations were required!

james said...

This is another of these great examples of not really noticing how great something is until it's gone. And even if Jerry comes back, one wonders if he'll ever be quite the same as he was. Having said that it was great to see and hear him last night; I really hope he makes it all the way back.

Amy said...

I am so glad you posted this. I was so sorry I had missed seeing him last night. I admire his honesty about what he is going through. I am sure there are thousands of fans out there who have been through something like this---physical illness and then depression on top of it. His line about being unable to watch NESN games just rings so true and is so revealing. My heart goes out to him, and I do hope he gets back and is able to battle these demons successfully.

SoSock said...

The mental aspect of being physically ill, something I learned a lot about in the last 5 years.
It's at least as tough as the physical part. Often tougher.
My best to Remy.
Don't rush it man.

Amy said...

Ah, SoSock, my heart goes out to you as well. Hope you are doing ok.

Ish said...

It's amazing just how connected our minds are to the rest of our bodies. Your mind can make your body sick, and your body can make your mind sick.

A few weeks ago, lasting through two weeks ago and into last week, I had some things going on, sources of great stress, including a BIG one. They threw my body way off. One of the biggest problems stemming from them was I could barely eat. Now, you know me. I have a special relationship with food, but it was like I was worried sick. In this case I had to do something bold to stop it, so I did.

This week my mind has eased, and the rest of me feels a lot better.

Amy said...

Ish, sorry to hear that. I hope you and your family are doing better.