April 30, 2009

G22: Rays 13, Red Sox 0

Red Sox - 000 000 000 -  0  1  0
Rays - 004 211 05x - 13 18 0
It's been an interesting two days for rookie Jonathan Van Every.

While he might have imagined himself making a couple of crucial catches late in the game and driving in a couple of runs, including an extra-inning home run for the win -- his contribution to Wednesday's victory in Cleveland -- the rest of his fantasy probably did not involve coming in from right field the very next night to pitch to four batters in the eighth inning of a blowout.

Unwilling to waste another arm in what was then a 12-0 game, Terry Francona banished Javier Lopez (.1-4-5-1-0) to right field and called JVE to the mound six batters into the eighth inning. Jason Bartlett fouled out to third, but Michel Hernandez doubled to right center -- forcing a humiliated Lopez to chase the ball to the wall. JVE walked B.J. Upton before getting pinch-hitter Ben Zobrist to foul out to first.

Garza retired the first 18 Boston batters before an infield single from Jacoby Ellsbury ended his dreams of perfection in the seventh. LBJ, however, was quickly erased on a double play. Garza (7.2-1-0-1-10, 108) then walked David Ortiz before getting Kevin Youkilis to ground out. Boston's third and final baserunner was Julio Lugo, who was walked by Grant Balfour in the top of the ninth.

Lopez's six-batter appearance -- in what was initially an 8-0 blowout -- was amazingly bad. Can you spot the pattern?

Crawford: falls behind 3-0, groundout 4-3 on full count
Longoria: single to center on 1-2 pitch
Pena: falls behind 2-0, single to right
Burrell: falls behind 3-0, walk on 3-1 pitch
Gross: falls behind 2-0, double on 2-1 pitch
Iwamura: falls behind 2-0, double to right-center

14 balls and 11 strikes (and 4 of those strikes were 2 singles and 2 doubles).

He's worthless. Cut. The. Cord.

Now.

***

Josh Beckett (6.00, 84 ERA+) / Matt Garza (4.97, 97 ERA+)

First of four at the Trop against the last-place Rays (8-14).

***

Daisuke Matsuzaka threw a bullpen session of 47 pitches yesterday afternoon after long tossing from about 200 feet. Dice is expected to throw another bullpen on Saturday and then be sent out on a multi-start rehab assignment.

Terry Francona, on John Smoltz's progress:
I would say it's about a week of just kind of slowing down a little bit. I guess we had probably thought all along that this was a possibility. ... He's been grinding pretty hard, going pretty hard. ... There's nothing that came up that's crazy. We just thought this was the best thing to do.
Manny Delcarmen has been dealing with a tight left hip flexor for the last week. ... Mike Lowell has a 13-game hitting streak. ... Alex Rodriguez, aka Bitch Tits.

296 comments:

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Benjamin said...

Alex Rodriguez, aka Bitch Tits.

Wikipedia is already on the case, natch.

Ish said...

See also:

• Alex Rodriguez
• Male bra
• Male Lactation


Priceless.

Zenslinger said...

Oatmeal sez Youk and DJ back in, HR King V-Tek taking the night off.

Jere said...

Jays lose. We're in first headed into the weekend.

redsock said...

1. Jacoby Ellsbury, CF
2. Dustin Pedroia, 2B
3. David Ortiz, DH
4. Kevin Youkilis, 1B
5. J.D. Drew, RF
6. Jason Bay, LF
7. Mike Lowell, 3B
8. George Kottaras, C
9. Julio Lugo, SS

1. B.J. Upton, CF
2. Carl Crawford, LF
3. Evan Longoria, 3B
4. Carlos Pena, 1B
5. Pat Burrell, DH
6. Gabe Gross, RF
7. Akinori Iwamura, 2B
8. Michel Hernandez, C
9. Jason Bartlett, SS

redsock said...

YAY!NESN announced today that Roberts, the former Red Sox outfielder and postseason hero, has joined the network to serve as a studio analyst.

Roberts will join Hall of Famers Dennis Eckersley and Jim Rice on NESN's pre- and post-game shows. ...

Roberts will make his NESN debut this Monday from the new Yankee Stadium when the Red Sox play the Yankees. During the game, he will also join NESN's Red Sox broadcast team of Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy in the booth for a couple of innings.

***
DOUBLE YAY -- for those of us who cannot get NESN beyond the actual games.

redsock said...

Ooooh, Jays played earlier. Great. I need all the NESN possibilities I can get with Kevin Kennedy in the Rays booth. I think I hate him more than Migraine.

Zenslinger said...

Reports that A-Rod tipped pitches in blowouts to the opposition in order to get the same treatment in return -- to pad his stats? That's kinda...beyond wacky.

Let's hope Roberts is good in the booth.

redsock said...

Players used to do that in the old days -- and the very old days. Shows you what a traditionalist Slappy is.

redsock said...

Finally got and added the B-Ref link to the post, if anyone cares.

Jere said...

Buck Martinez in Remy's place tonight. The usual "under the weather" for the RemCanine.

Zenslinger said...

Lots of cool stuff there @ b-ref.

Beckett may have had only one truly good start this year so far...but also only one truly bad one.

He's our man.

L-girl said...

Yes! Rogers Sports Net comes through again. Tampa feed on EI, but Rogers brings us NESN. It's practically like having NESN at game time.

L-girl said...

I'm so happy there are games on Monday and Thursday this week. Since I always miss Wednesday games, and I missed a big chunk of Tuesday's game this week, it's great having no off days.

Buck Martinez?! YUCK. More fodder for the Remy Speculation Team.

redsock said...

NESN good; Buck bad. Very bad.

His nasal voice shall grate.

Why not Don solo? 2x the drinks....

Will Don correct his mispronouncation of our DH's last name?

Lindsey said...

Buck Martinez in Remy's place tonight. The usual "under the weather" for the RemCanine.What the effing EFF.

I am NOT pleased.

L-girl said...

Lindsey? Are you really Ish?

Lindsey said...

Maybe Remy has swine flu. I think that's it.

Jere said...

He may ORmay not.

L-girl said...

Try that again.

Don is NOT the correcting type. He's the agreeing type.

Lindsey said...

Once again it's Ish posting as my sister. I need to fix this for the long haul. Her old laptop.

Woti-woti said...

Anybody not sure of what people mean when they call someone a 'gasbag' will know after a evening with Buck Martinez.

L-girl said...

Why don't you log out and log back in as you? That's all it takes.

redsock said...

... after a MINUTE with Buck ...

L-girl said...

Woti! Hey there.

redsock said...

no ray had an exceptional season --- WHAT ABOUT THEIR WHOPL FUCKING BULLPEN BUCK YOU MORON???????????

Ish said...

Better!

L-girl said...

Ah, welcome back, Ish.

Ish said...

L, I ended up deleting cookies, saved passwords and cache. Cover all the bases.

Ish said...

I want to know how they went about getting Buck to do this game. It seems like this was more planned. I can't see Buck just happening to be in the Tampa area... OH hey Buck! Remy's AHEM sick... Can you fill in?

Sure! I love to hear myself blather stupid shit!

Jere said...

Lindsey and Ish playing one role, much like Lindsay and Sidney Greenbush on Little House on the Prairie.

Ish said...

How long will it take for Don to start saying David ORtiz like Buck?

L-girl said...

Can't be too careful. Lindsey could be hiding somewhere in the computer, waiting to pounce.

L-girl said...

No stupider than anyone else's stupid shit.

Yeah, it does seem more planned to have Martinez filling in.

redsock said...

did don ever work with buck when he did some NL playoffs?

L-girl said...

Is there any pattern to Remy's absences?

I had a thought and deleted it.

redsock said...

maybe remy felt like shit at the end of last night's game -- they had almost 24 hours.

Zenslinger said...

AJ Burnett briskly lets a run get home vs. the Angels.

Jere said...

Burnett gives up one in the first.

Ish said...

L, agreed about the stupid shit part. See just about every television MLB announcer.

Jeez, Wiki is fast!

On April 30th, 2009 Buck was along side Don Orsillo of NESN replacing Jerry Remy as the color commentator for the Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays game.

Kevin said...

Sit

L-girl said...

Someone already updated the Wiki page?! Geez. Martinez has some kind of PR crew out there.

Jere said...

can o corn, okay let's score

L-girl said...

I got truped on that one. Whew.

Kevin said...

OTT

redsock said...

check the IP address - it might be coming from the nesn booth in tamper.

Zenslinger said...

One more OTT and we're riding the F-Train.

Although I suppose that goes for Dr. Garza as well.

redsock said...

Garza on the F U Train

Zenslinger said...

GDGD on the Fucked Up train.

Jere said...

Drew with a looking K

Jere said...

Bay with a looking K

Zenslinger said...

Lo, we are but Chaff before His mighty Scythe.

Kevin said...

Were those two strikes as far off the plate as they look on GDGD?

L-girl said...

Zen, you're scaring me

Ish said...

Don says Buck was down in Tampa getting ready for TBS game on Sunday "so we put him to work early."

Jere said...

I think both called third strikes were right over the plate--Drew's definitely was.

L-girl said...

Since I'm not up on these things, what's the scuttlebutt on Remy? Wondering how it coincides with my conjecture.

Jere said...

95 MPH swinging K--Pena

Jere said...

Softish liner for a single by Burrell

Ish said...

Who'da thunk having two Gabes on one team?

Jere said...

Selena Roberts gives specifics on the Bitch Tits Pitch Tips--so it should be easy to prove if people just watch the old tapes.

Ish said...

Well I guess during the spring Remy had an "infection" of sorts. But there have been some games during the regular season where he has been "under the weather."

Kevin said...

Drew's was fine, but GDGD showed strikes two and three to Bay as inside.

redsock said...

tongue twister

Bitch Tits Pitch Tips

Ish said...

That is a CRAZY tongue twister.

Ish said...

I couldn't even say it out loud once.

L-girl said...

Re Remy, right, but what are the quotes alluding to?

Jere said...

Kevin--the last pitch to Bay was one he should've swung at, I'll put it that way. He also made no argument or anything.

Jere said...

just quoting what NESN said

L-girl said...

OK. I thought all those quotes were hinting at something we're all supposed to know.

He looks so thin, and out on a regular basis, it certainly makes me wonder if he's ok.

Jere said...

swinging. 0-0. Beckett = anti-bad

Jere said...

Maybe Remy's seeing a shrink and he has to make his weekly appointment.

redsock said...

LAA - 12
MFY - 1

still batting top 2nd

L-girl said...

You'd think he'd coordinate it w/ team off days.

Woti-woti said...

Somebody's gotta tell Martinez that most of his audience watches more than 1 game a month.

Ish said...

Woti, I was thinking the same thing.

"These teams in the American League all have very strong batters 1 through 3."

So wait, Buck... I forgot, does the pitcher hit in the AL too?

L-girl said...

Rays... Lugo... where's Andy and the hate?

Ish said...

Lot of empty seats at the home of the reigning AL champs. A lot of seats occupied but a lot empty too.

Jere said...

I also feel like Don is talking to us, but also Buck, and therefore is saying some obvious stuff.

Zenslinger said...

O Slugo! Redeem our Shame!

Jere said...

"Lot of empty seats at the home of the reigning AL champs. A lot of seats occupied but a lot empty too."

Check out the highlights from tonight's game at Toilet3.

redsock said...

don? saying obvious stuff?

nahhhhhhhhhh

Kevin said...

Meh

Zenslinger said...

Damn thy Spotted Hide, Slugo!

Jere said...

weak...Lowell gets to the nubber with glove right behind base as ball hits glove, bounces out. Woulda been a hit anyway.

Jere said...

Abreu returns to The Bronx

Jere said...

curve ball trick bat

Ish said...

Bucking Fuck. Had all of him that I could take so I figured out the radio out here and turned it on.

Jere said...

And Abreu rolls out to the catcher in his first AB back.

Jere said...

another ball not hit hard and they get a hit out of it.

Ish said...

I see the Puffin Garza taught Upton the finer points of spitting.

redsock said...

dp pls

Kevin said...

DP please?

Kevin said...

MOTHERFUCKER

Ish said...

Well the Red Sox are getting used to this sort of thing. Working from behind.

Jere said...

Johnny Damon hit a game-winning HR. (Well, that's what Kay's call would lead one to think anyway.) 3-2 Angels.

Longoria = swine flu

Kevin said...

CRAP

redsock said...

buck says that is a big extra run

4-0 -- in the 3rd inning

jesus christ

L-girl said...

Buck as panicking Sox fan?

L-girl said...

70 pitches so far? geez josh.

Kevin said...

I'm hating this inning...

redsock said...

struck out the side again!!!!

Kevin said...

39 pitch inning...

L-girl said...

thank dog that's over. now to start staging the comeback.

or maybe it's too early for that.

L-girl said...

I think you may have missed a few, Kevin.

Jere said...

Buck: No patsies in the Al East.

He's right, Roy Oswalt is in the NL Central.

redsock said...

MATT GARZA IS PITCHING A PERFECT GAME!!!MATT GARZA IS PITCHING A PERFECT GAME!!!MATT GARZA IS PITCHING A PERFECT GAME!!!MATT GARZA IS PITCHING A PERFECT GAME!!!MATT GARZA IS PITCHING A PERFECT GAME!!!

L-girl said...

Dear NESN:

Please show us the game on the full screen. That is why we watch.

Thank you.

RSN, Canada chapter

Jere said...

ANy time they have an interview, they should just play the audio. That's the only important part of it anyway, unless the person is using hand-motions necessary to the story, or, wearing a funny wig or something. In those cases, show it when nothing's going on in the game.

Kevin said...

...

Bleh

L-girl said...

Definitely, audio only on interviews. I mean, come on, is anyone watching this game to see a replayed clip of some cliched, pat answer from Francona? I friggin hate it.

MATT GARZA IS PITCHING A PERFECT GAME

redsock said...

PC:

Garza: 13-11-13 11 = 48
Beckett: 14-18-43 = 75

Kevin said...

Really?

L-girl said...

fuckety

Ish said...

Michelle dong.

Jere said...

well well well you never can tell well well well dong Michelle

Kevin said...

SHIT

L-girl said...

Is Beckett embarrassed giving up a dong to a girl?

redsock said...

michelle dong

***

a-rod: that's hot.

Kevin said...

Hm, so I did.

Jere said...

good thing he got a piece of that.

Jere said...

Well at least he didn't try to catch it with his hat! Hahahahahaha!

redsock said...

i await the boston media ripping bay's lazy-ass defense.

L-girl said...

Kevin, do you score at home?

ARGHBAYWHATDIDYOUJUSTDO!!!!

* * * *

I meant that non sarcastically and non insultingly. I've been watching games with a person who scores at home for a long time, so I often wonder about other people who might.

* * * *

Oh got this is getting worse.

Jere said...

Fucking Abreu makes an error, 4-3 Yanks when it shoulda been 3-3.

L-girl said...

"i await the boston media ripping bay's lazy-ass defense"

Silly Allan, white boys are never lazy, don't you know that.

redsock said...

shoulda high-fived a fan to make up for it.

redsock said...

beckett 3rd inning:

nesn: 44 pit

me/gdgd: 43

who is right?

Ish said...

Come 9:00 this game might lose TV priority in this house if it gets worse.

nick said...

I just got out of a disaster of a studio shoot and find this crap? A Garzan of the jungle perfect game and Josh making a terrible, terrible mess of the bed.

unacceptable.

on that note, hiya!

redsock said...

Commander Suckass

L-girl said...

this is ugly. i'm ready for some comeback juice.

L-girl said...

What happens at 9 - hockey?

redsock said...

Baserunners:

TBR: 11
BRS: 0

Jere said...

Burnett gives it back before getting an out- 4-4.

Ish said...

L, yes. Celtics are on right now too. I'll keep tabs on all three but I'm losing reason to keep this game on over a conference semi-final game 1 hockey game.

Jere said...

el perfuckto continues

L-girl said...

Ish, I guess it will be just one more comeback for the season. You can miss one for hockey playoffs. ;)

Ish said...

I love how Castig calls Garza's name. Like it's some sort of a disease.

Matt Garrrrza....

Ish said...

L, the beauty of it is I'll still know what's going on in the game. Staying with the thread and checking back and forth. C's game should finish before the Sox game too. Unless they go to 30 million overtimes again.

Jere said...

yeah we CT people can say the letter R, heyyyyyooo

L-girl said...

I can't even stand when Allan flips over to the NYY game during commercials. So following 3 different sports is lost on me.

redsock said...

I would love to see Garza throw a perfect game. HISTORY!

Jere said...

what a wuss that lady is in the front row.

Jere said...

I hope he's perfect thru 8.2 and then we score 7 runs.

L-girl said...

I see Allan's working on the old reverse psychology.

redsock said...

13 more outs

Kevin said...

Bats not impressing tonight...

Ish said...

I love the liners to the backstop. You laugh when the people scatter and then come up laughing themselves. But then I think, I'd probably do the same thing. My brain is not going to think Oh don't worry there is currently a screen in front of me and I am perfectly safe. No. I'm going to go SHIIIIIIIT. Oh. Hahah.

redsock said...

is tek's C put on with electrical tape?

redsock said...

... and no one else wanted his washed up ass.

Jere said...

yeah but Ish, the play I was talking about was a high popup and she started freaking out immediately, and then ran away even though it was ten rows up from her.

Jere said...

Manny catches both balls.

Benjamin said...

What a shitty stadium.

L-girl said...

wow. this is some kinda bad game.

redsock said...

does bay know what city he is playing in? hahahahh

Ish said...

Jere now I really wish I saw that!

L-girl said...

buck martinez just said that the wbc is a great tournament, but it's held at the wrong time. the better time to hold it would be...

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEASON

????????????

Jere said...

He was probably thinking of that mildly comical ebay-selling experience !!!!

L-girl said...

I don't like fouls being hit anywhere near me. They scare the fuck out of me.

redsock said...

goes around does bartlett

L-girl said...

mildly comical ebay :)

redsock said...

buck says you just can't be physically strong - you need to look at scouting reports, etc. to win

wow

nick said...

I just looked up at the TV (which is through a doorway in the other room) and thought I saw another HR. bastards and their replays. still better than actually seeing a HR.

Maybe I should go catch up on Lost.

Jere said...

Buck: "he can say he got his 1st homer, but he can also write Josh Beckett in the book."

Bulk of audience:

"What's 'writing'?"

"What's a 'book'?"

Kevin said...

I hate this game

L-girl said...

You all are gonna miss the great comeback. Lost isn't gonna give you that.

[Do you really watch that? Is it good?]

redsock said...

box score -- big white space for sox!!!

go garza!!!!!!!!

Ish said...

I don't like fouls being hit anywhere near me. They scare the fuck out of me. -- My dad tried to catch a foul pop-up at Hadlock Field a couple years ago. Went through his hands and landed on his foot!

Jere said...

I finally tried Lost this year. I felt myself getting hooked after 2-3 episodes. Then the show quickly made me realize there's no reason to watch, nothing ever happens. Or the same thing happens again and again. So I quit cold turkey after about 5 eps. I assume the earlier seasons were better cuz it couldn't get much worse than what I saw.

L-girl said...

Allan had that happen to him in Wrigley, like 5 minutes after he got to the park. Not the foot part, just the hit off the hand.

Ish said...

I'm telling you, L. I'm not going to miss the comeback. I might miss the perfect game but not the comeback.

Jere said...

Cardinals are a half-game better than we are. And they have the best record in baseball.

redsock said...

robbie thompson of the giants. right at me -- and off my palm.

L-girl said...

Don't worry, Ish, you won't miss a perfect game. Ain't gonna happen. :)

Jere said...

they'll never learn, L. We could comeback from 5 down one night and they'd still not believe. Oh wait, we DID do that last night. After coming back twice against the Yanks in amazing fashion this weekend. And winning the 07 ALCS and 04 ALCS. Their loss....

L-girl said...

I shouldn't rag on Lost, since I've never seen it. But it looks less than interesting. To put it mildly.

Kevin said...

This...is not going well

L-girl said...

Jere, it's true. Not most people here, but most fans and most announcers act like whatever is happening at the moment is the way it's going to be.

You're down, you're losing - you're up, you're winning - then it reverses and that's the new way it's going to be. Tres bizarre.

L-girl said...

Keep talkin Don, keep talkin...

L-girl said...

Kevin with the understatement.

Please someone get us to 201 so I can stop seeing "male lactation" whenever I refresh.

Jere said...

"seeing "male lactation" whenever I refresh."

A-Rod: That's hot

?

L-girl said...

Perfectos are very rare. Chances are very good we will not see one tonight.

L-girl said...

oh fuck all. we did not need that.

andy said...

I thought the MLB owns the tv broadcasts. This game is furnished by the Tampa Bay Rays you can not use it without consent from the Tampa Bay Rays. That was always MLB before.

redsock said...

buck says tito pulling lowell and yook for green and gumball is not any concession about this game.

no, because it if was 7-7 in the 6th, he'd still starting putting in the bench.

L-girl said...

NYY broadcasts it is always "without the express written consent of the New York Yankees".

Jere said...

I thought it's always been the teams themselves, depending on which team's network you're watching.

redsock said...

what ac-dc song was that?

andy said...

Fuck you Rays you suck in the standings and now you try to play good? Eat shit and get back in the basement.

Jere said...

L: right. any broadcast, rebroadcast, or any other use of the accounts and descriptions of this game without the express written consent of the Boston Red Sox is prohibited. But then, don't they say something about the office of the commissioner?

L-girl said...

Sometimes it's MLB. I've wondered about that, why it's sometimes MLB and sometimes the team.

L-girl said...

There's Andy!

redsock said...

hey lyndon: bunt.

Ish said...

I think Jere's right. I've only heard "Without written consent of the Boston Red Sox" for Sox broadcasts. MLB national broadcasts usually just say without expressed written consent. And that's it.

L-girl said...

So it's national vs team network b'cast that makes the difference?

L-girl said...

It's amazing how when you're watching your own pitcher on a no-hit bid, the tension is almost unbearable. It drives you crazy. I can't sit still, can hardly watch the game.

Jere said...

yeah cuz Fox/ESPN/TBS strike deals with MLB, and the regional networks have deals with their team. But some teams own their own network of course.

Ish said...

I feel a constant annoyance with the opposing pitcher throwing no-hitter. So wait... Is he still perfect?

Ish said...

NO!!!! NOT PERFECT ANYMORE!!!

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