Here's how it must have happened. KT writes one of the most outrageously over-the-top love letters to Derek Jeter, slaps a photo of Gary Sheffield next to the byline, and then, with a giggle, sits back and waits to see if anyone actually takes it seriously.
One problem, though: when it came to piling up the hoary cliches and larding on the over-wrought praise, the columnist thought "Moore" was better, but the exaggerations - which seem perfectly suited to an Onion spoof - should have been dialed back. Parody works best when it retains some realism of the original.
All of a sudden, the talk about the greatness of Derek Jeter has intensified, and this is misguided.
He's actually greater than that.
It's a bunch of little-big things with Jeter. Unlike New York Yankees teammate Alex Rodriguez, for instance, Jeter isn't spectacular at fielding, throwing, hitting, slugging or just existing away from the ballpark, but he is good at everything. ...
Jeter also never disrespects the game or anybody else. In fact, nobody is more professional in any Major League clubhouse than this guy ... He is always at his locker for the large contingent of New York media to flow his way. Then, before making sure that everybody is in position for the latest Jeter session, he always gives direct eye contact to every questioner while delivering his answers with even tones.
The man is peerless. He really is. ...
One of these centuries, when Jeter retires, historians will sift through his career, shake their heads and wonder why folks during his generation didn't realize that he was operating on a level beyond nearly everyone else around him.
Not only that, those same historians will marvel how Jeter did his splendid thing on a consistent basis, with many folks noticing, but not with as many as you would expect -- you know, given everything involved with this baseball player for the ages. ...
Jeter returned from the disabled list on July 4, and that was Independence Day for the country and for Jeter. Five days later, he became the 28th player in baseball history to reach 3,000 career hits. ...
It was just another clutch moment for Jeter, owner of 12 All-Star Game appearances and five World Series rings. It also was just another time for folks to take the guy for granted.
15 comments:
Moore forgot to mention that Jeter has the cleanest balls of any baseball player, ever.
Apathy and the 21st Century seem to be going hand in hand like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But, just a lot more distasteful. I'm a Mets/Sox fan, and even I can't help but notice how much credit he doesn't get. It's pure Yankee bias. It's fun to knock em...but truths are truths.
WIN METHOD fans know of Jeter and his overwhelming greatness. Jeter is acepted by knowledgeable baseball fans as the greatest player to play the game over the past twenty years. Only those jealous of his charisma, charm, offensive talent, defensive talent, and his ability to help his team to more playoffs, pennants, and WS rings look down on his true greatness.
Jeter is acepted by knowledgeable baseball fans as the greatest player to play the game over the past twenty years.
Requoted solely for comedic value.
Only those jealous of his charisma, charm, offensive talent, defensive talent, and his ability to help his team to more playoffs, pennants, and WS rings look down on his true greatness.
I like how "charisma" and "charm" (???) come before anything actually having to do with baseball.
"[His 3,000th hit] also was just another time for folks to take the guy for granted."
They made a documentary about it.
allan: charisma and charm came first because I would feel they are subjective. Jeters demonstrated skills and the success he has helped lead his team to are facts.
Jeter has also played in more winning teams over his career than any other player during that span. I think making the playoffs, winning pennants and winning World Series is the greatest accomplishments in baseball that a player can achieve. Jeter has done this the most and the best. Jeter is also the poster boy and the face of major league baseball. What scares me is the bosux may have the next player in Jeters class in Dustin Pedroia. I really respect that kid.
Someone please tell me Mr. WIN METHOD's blog is an elaborate trolling attempt.
I think making the playoffs, winning pennants and winning World Series is the greatest accomplishments in baseball that a player can achieve.
He can do that as long as he is on a great team. What you are saying is that if Jeter had put up the exact same stats (or better!) for the Royals or Pirates or Expos/Nationals, then he would have been much less of a player. Strange. So Ted Williams and Ernie Banks did not accomplish much on the diamond? (This is like arguing with a 7-year-old. And you using "bosux" pretty much clinches it. Good day to you, sir.)
This is a companion piece to Bill Dwyre's column in the Los Angeles Times exactly one month ago (so are we going to see one of these every four weeks forever?):
He has plied his trade a continent away, and maybe that distance has dimmed our appreciation. But now that Derek Jeter has 3,000 hits, it gives us reason to say what needs to be said about this magnificent Yankee.
Wow. Well done. Impressive beyond words.
Also, thanks for being what you are and who you are.
In that magic early afternoon of July 9, with the memory and remains of old Yankee Stadium looming across the street ... Jeter went from legendary to mystical. He hit a home run for the 3,000th hit of his career. Not a Texas Leaguer that just cleared the shortstop's glove or a hard bounder off the pitcher's leg. A home run. ...
The number reached was phenomenal. The manner done so was otherworldly. ...
He plays in one of the rudest, pushiest cities in the world and is neither. ... He is good to his teammates, good to the fans and apparently good to the scores of beautiful women he has dated in his 17 years as a Yankee. ...
For those nearly two decades, he has conducted his business with a style and consistency that is hard to maintain, for many of his peers, for two months. He is good at what he does and good at being who he is.
*****
It goes on ....
Memo to Terence (and/or Bill):
Look, this article is a poor substitute for real action. There is the fear and pain of rejection, but, man, you gotta go for it. Get dressed up nice and go propose to the guy already. You never know what might happen. Good luck. I'm with you in spirit.
I can't believe these WIN METHOD comments are getting through moderation. That just proves I don't have final veto power around here.
Charisma and charm? I mean, I don't hate Derek Jeter like you all do, but the man has as much charisma as drying paint.
People have no idea how stupid they sound.
Jeter is acepted by knowledgeable baseball fans as the greatest player to play the game over the past twenty years.
If you polled, say, 500 very knowledgeable baseball fans and asked who was the best all-around player of the last 20 years, and they could name only one person, do you think even one of them would say Derek Jeter?
Seriously.
Someone please tell me Mr. WIN METHOD's blog is an elaborate trolling attempt.
Oh good lord. I just looked at the WIN METHOD blog.
I repeat my comment of 1:09 a.m.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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