WS 2: Diamondbacks 9, Texas 1

Arizona – 000 200 232 – 9 16  0
Texas   – 000 010 000 – 1  4  0

Arizona pitcher Merrill Kelly quieted the top American League offense on Saturday evening (7-3-1-0-9, 89), allowing only one runner to advance past first base. His teammates got on the board in the fourth and then stepped on the gas against Texas' bullpen en route to a 9-1 win, evening the World Series at one game apiece.

Ketel Marte went 1-for-5, singling home two runs in the eighth inning and thereby setting a new MLB record by hitting safely in 18 consecutive postseason games. Tommy Pham went 4-for-4, with two doubles and two runs scored. Seven different Diamondback players scored one run each.

Kelly retired the first 10 Texas batters before Evan Carter dumped a single into short center. Mitch Garver began the home fifth with a dong to left and later in the inning Josh Jung reached on an infield single. That was all Texas could do against Kelly, who struck out five of his last six batters.

The MLB International announcers – Dave Flemming (play-by-play) and Ryan Spilborghs (additional talking) – were gushing over Texas starter Jordan Mongomery like he was the second coming of Sandy Koufax. The free-agent-to-be has been so good lately, Spilborghs explained, that this winter, "he might as well back the Brinks truck up to his house". Montgomery then proceeded to allow three hits (and two runs) to the next four batters. Oops. My issue with Spilborghs's comment is that it's the TEAM that drives the truck full of money to the superstar's house. The player doesn't drive the goddamn truck!

Montgomery ended the top of the sixth by picking Pham off second base. He gave up a double and a run-scoring single to start the seventh and was pulled for Andrew Heaney, who allowed the inherited runner to score. In the eighth, Chris Stratton gave up a single and got two outs before Texas manager Bruce Bochy called for Martín Pérez. Why he chose to do this, I do not know. Pérez was exactly league average in 2023 (4.45 ERA); he had a 10-4 record, but Bochy wouldn't be fooled by that (right?). I remarked out loud that Pérez was going to suck and that's exactly what happened. I'm not giving myself any credit for prognostication; it wasn't a very outlandish prediction. Needing only one out, Pérez walked his first two batters, which loaded the bases, then gave up two singles which brought all three runners home, effectively putting the game on ice for Arizona.

Texas fans thought one of Pérez's pitches to his second batter, a 2-2 offering to Geraldo Perdomo, was a strike. It was inside and not a strike (though it was close) and plate umpire Quinn Wolcott correctly called it a ball. Wolcott had blown several calls throughout the night, so the fans perhaps had an uncertain image of the strike zone. Or they simply wanted a fuckin strike to end the inning with no runs scored and their team trailing 1-4. But Wolcott got the call right, so the inning continued, and Pérez kept Pérezing until the game was out of reach.

Speaking of Wolcott, in the second inning, Flemming said he was "very accurate to what we might call the Statcast rule book strike zone". (Otherwise known as the "rule book".) Flemming was correct. In 2023, Wolcott was the best ball-strike umpire in MLB, calling 96% of pitches correctly.

Other Announcer Nonsense:

A first-inning graphic showed the "Youngest Players To Hit Third In Batting Order, World Series History". Texas left fielder Evan Carter was 2nd (21 years, 59 days), behind Mickey Mantle (20-347, 1952) and ahead of Joe DiMaggio (21-310, 1936). This graphic was nothing but visual pollution. Why not show us "Youngest Players To Leadoff Top Of Fifth Inning, World Series History"?

Spilborghs pointed out the presence of "human emotions" among the players because this is the World Series!

You may have noticed in recent years, broadcasts love to show players yelling or clapping or pounding their chests in super-slo-mo. This is one of baseball broadcasting's greatest mysteries. Seeing a batter scream while punching himself in the chest adds absolutely nothing to my knowledge or enjoyment of the game. Why not show the home run? Why not show the inning-ending strikeout? Why not show a wide shot of the entire field? Shit, I'd even prefer a glimpse of a C-list actor or an instantly-forgettable country-pop musician. The announcers were extolling the pitching talents of Merrill Kelly at the end of the seventh inning when a super-slo-mo clip appeared of Kelly pounding his throwing hand into his glove with his mouth wide open in a pure animalistic roar. Spilborghs said, with not an insignificant amount of awe and admiration in his voice, "Look at this."

Spilborghs also praised Texas pitching coach Mike Maddux for always, when making a mound visit, putting his right hand on the pitcher's shoulder. This came in the eighth inning and the pitcher was Pérez, after the two walks. Maddux's kind but firm hand produced no magic this time, however.

The bottom of the eighth ended with Arizona first baseman Christian Walker stretching as far towards the plate as humanly possible while still keeping part of his cleat on the bag to snare a wide throw from shortstop Perdomo. The best angle of the bag was from a left field camera and I thought I saw some infield dirt between the white of the bag and the white of the shoe, but the call was upheld. It was pretty remarkable play. Walker made a fantastic play in the fifth as well. Jonah Heim grounded down the first base line, where Walker was behind the bag. The ball struck the bag and caromed much higher than Walker was expecting. He stuck out his bare right hand and more or less caught the ball (it bounced from his hand a couple of inches for a fraction of a second, but he grabbed it) and shovel-tossed tit to the pitcher for the out.

After his stretch ended the eighth, Walker led off the top of the ninth. I thought we had finally reached (in recent years) that stage of evolution where baseball announcers mention the hoary quip about how the guy who makes a great play to end the inning leads off the next inning because they heard it all through their youth - only as a dumb joke. It's always presenting ironically. Well, guess what? Evolution does not proceed in a linear fashion. 

The count was 1-1 on Walker when we heard this: "You see this all the time, Dave, somebody makes a sparkling defense play, they usually lead off the next inning, and sometimes they end up rewarding themselves with a hit." He was as serious as a heart attack. And Walker hit a single to center!

In the bottom of the ninth, Arizona reliever Luis Frías came in with one on and one out. He struck out a pinch-hitter, but walked Adolis García on five pitches, while also throwing over to first, with the first baseman not holding the runner and standing 20 feet away from the bag. He fell behind 2-0 on Garver. AZ pitching coach Brent Strom headed to the mound. I wondered if Strom would put a calming hand on Frías's shoulder. Not exactly. He walked up to the pitcher, faced him, and put a hand on each shoulder. Two hands! But it did not seem completely friendly. His mouth was blocked from the camera, so I don't know what he was saying, but I'll bet it was along the lines of "You're up by eight fuckin runs, you  fuckin need one fuckin out, so fuckin throw some motherfuckin strikes so we can get the fuck out of here. Okay?" Whatever he said, it worked. A called strike, a foul, and a line out to third.

Sarah Langs brings the stat factoids:

1) After a home run in Game 1, Pham produced again on Saturday, becoming the 18th player in World Series history to go 4-for-4 in a game. He was the first to do so since Pablo Sandoval in his three-homer performance in Game 1 in 2012. The only other instances in the Wild Card era were Matt Holliday (2007) and Tim Salmon (2002), each in a Game 2. . . .

3) The D-backs combined for 16 hits, the most in a World Series game since the Giants had 16 in 2014 Game 4. The only other team to reach that mark in the last 20 World Series was the Red Sox, with 17 in 2007 Game 1.

4) They also barely struck out, doing so just twice at the plate. The D-backs became the third team to strike out two or fewer times in a World Series game in the Wild Card era, joining the 2010 Rangers in Game 2 (two) and 2002 Angels in Game 2 (none). Only five other teams have had at least 15 hits and two or fewer strikeouts in a Fall Classic game: those '02 Angels in Game 2, the 1987 Twins in Game 6, 1928 Yankees in Game 4, 1912 Giants in Game 7 and 1910 A’s in Game 3. . . .

8) It wasn't all hits, though. The D-backs became the first team with three sacrifice bunts in a World Series game since the Cardinals in Game 5 of the 2011 World Series, also in Texas. They were the first team to win a World Series game with at least three sacrifice bunts since the A's in 1974 Game 1. Only one team had a game with three this year in the regular season: the D-backs, on May 6.

9) As great as the offense was, so was Kelly, who went seven innings with nine strikeouts and no walks. Only four pitchers have had more strikeouts with no walks in a World Series game: 2017 Clayton Kershaw (11), 1949 Don Newcombe (11), 2009 Cliff Lee (10) and 1903 Deacon Phillippe (10) – all in Game 1s. Phillippe's was the first World Series game.

10) With the split in Arlington, this is the 11th consecutive World Series that will not end in a sweep, with the last one coming by the Giants in 2012. Eleven consecutive World Series without a sweep is the second-longest stretch in World Series history, behind a 12-year streak from 1977-88 that saw no teams record a World Series sweep.

Outdated Cultural Reference Dept.:

When Adolis García (0-for-3, walk) fouled off a 2-2 pitch in the seventh, his left foot slipped in the batters box and he fell down. He sat on his ass for a second or two before getting up. Spilborghs remarked that he "looked like a broken wagon wheel". Forget the lame 45-year-old pop music references. This is more like a 155-year-old reference! It made no sense, but I liked it.

While looking for pictures of wagon wheels, I saw this picture from 1908 ("Fred Pearson and family, Johnson County, Kansas). Note the dog has elegantly crossed her front paws for the picture.

A's Announcer Glen Kuiper Says "The N-Word" On Air, Doesn't Correct HimselfHe Offered A Weak Apology Six Innings Later & Has Been Suspended

Before Saturday's Athletics-Royals game, Oakland announcer Glen Kuiper talked about a few of the fun things to do in Kansas City. He would end up apologizing for uttering a racial slur and be suspended indefinitely.

In the clip below, Dallas Braden, Kuiper's overly-bearded booth partner, didn't hear anything out of the ordinary, apparently. Kuiper, who turns 60 later this month, made no attempt to correct himself.

For those asking why Glen Kuiper just made an on-air apology, here's why. pic.twitter.com/k1we7gf3GT

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) May 6, 2023

It was not until the SIXTH inning that Kuiper's comment was addressed, albeit obliquely.

I’m not sure what was said, but #Athletics TV Broadcaster Glen Kuiper opened the 6th-inning with an on-air apology. pic.twitter.com/AZQVL3kuJG

— Joe Hughes (@VegasJoeHughes) May 6, 2023

Welcome back to Kauffman's – welcome back to Kauffman Stadium. I just wanted to – a little bit earlier in the show I said something – [it] didn't come out quite the way I wanted it to. Umm – and I just wanted to apologize, if – if it – if it sounded different than I meant it to be said. [As I] said, I just wanted to apologize for that.

I would love to hear the thoughts of a linguist concerning the possibility of accidentially mixing up these two words. To my ears, the words begin immediately with disimilar sounds, leading me to think it would be unlikely that someone would stumble and say one instead of the other (perhaps especially so for a baseball announcer, since he or she will say "the Negro Leagues" from time to time).

Kuiper's apology was extremely weak. It wasn't as bad as saying "I'm sorry if anyone was offended", but it also wasn't much better.

First, he failed to offer any information concerning what he was apologizing for, undoubtedly confusing fans who had not seen the pre-game stuff.

Second, if he was truly embarrassed and wanted to make sure the audience knew what a mistake this was, why wouldn't he scribble some notes (at the very least) so he doesn't go wandering through the bramble and say some odd shit.

Third, the word "Negro" "didn't come out quite the way [he] wanted it to". Yeah, it was damn close, but not quite. Again, after saying it in the pre-game, Kuiper made absolutely no attempt to correct himself.

Fourth, he's offering this apology "if [the word] sounded different than" what he meant to say. It sure did! In fact, you said it so clearly, that's why you're giving this lame-ass apology in the first place. No need to qualify it with the "if".

I saw this comment on Kuiper's apology: "I'm sorry if you heard exactly what I said."

World Series 2: Astros 5, Phillies 2

Phillies - 000 000 101 - 2  6  1 
Astros   - 300 020 00x - 5  7  2 

For the second night in a row, the Astros jumped out to a 5-0 lead. On Saturday, they were able to keep their advantage, holding off the Phillies 5-2 and evening up the World Series at one game apiece.

It's now a best-of-5 with the first three games in Philadelphia. Game 3 will be played on Monday night.

Phillies starter Zach Wheeler (5-6-5-3-3, 69) fell behind quickly. Jose Altuve hit his first pitch for a double. Jeremy Pena hit his second pitch for a run-scoring double. Yordan Alvarez fouled off Wheeler's third pitch and doubled on his fourth. Four pitches in, and the Astros led 2-0. A third run scored with two outs when first baseman Rhys Hoskins could not glove a low throw from shortstop Edmundo Sosa. Alex Bregman clubbed a two-run homer in the fifth.

Framber Valdez (6.1-4-1-3-9, 104) kept a tight lid on the Phillies' offense. He allowed one-out walks in the first and second innings and a one-out single in the third, but none of those runners advanced at all. His pitch count was somewhat high (55) through three innings (22-15-18). After a clean fourth, a leadoff single in the fifth was erased on a double play. 

Kyle Schwarber walked to start the top of the sixth and Hoskins singled to left-center. It was the first time the Phillies had two baserunners. The rally fizzled, however, as Valdez struck out J.T. Realmuto with some high heat and Bryce Harper grounded into a 4-6-3 double play.

Nick Castellanos doubled into the left-center field gap to open the seventh. Valdez retired Alex Bohm on a groundout before handing the ball off to Rafael Montero. Castellanos had taken third on the grounder and he scored on Jean Segura's sacrifice fly to left.

Bryson Stott (batting for Sosa) led off the eighth and battled Montero for a 12-pitch walk. Schwarber saw a handful of pitches before lifting a 2-2 pitch to deep right. The ball sailed past the foul pole, but it was hard to tell if it was fair or foul. It seemed fair, as Schwarber circled the bases and the Sportsnet scorebug said 5-3, but the drive was eventually ruled foul. Schwarber grabbed his bat again and hit the next pitch to deep right, driving Kyle Tucker to within one step of the wall, but the Astros outfielder caught this one without difficulty.

After Hoskins struck out, Realmuto singled up the middle. Pena ranged to his left and flipped the ball to second, hoping to force Stott, but second baseman Altuve was not there. He was crouched down with his back to Pena, watching what he assumed was going to be Pena's throw to first. So the Phillies had runners at first and third, but Harper again could not deliver. He popped up to short (and finished the game 0-for-4, leaving five men left on base).

Houston's Ryan Pressly came in to nail it down in the ninth. Castellanos fanned on a changeup for the first out. Plate umpire Pat Hoberg called a good game -- he is one of the best at calling balls and strikes -- but he started expanding the strike zone in the final two innings when the Phillies were batting. A called strike 2 to Hoskins in the eighth was questionable, as were strikes 1 and 2 to Castellanos to start the ninth. The first pitch to Bohm was too far inside, but Hoberg called it a strike anyway. Bohm looked at a ball and doubled to left-center. Philadelphia needed to string a few hits together before making another out, but Segura hacked at a low 2-2 pitch and golfed it to Tucker in right. Brandon Marsh grounded a ball to first that skipped past Yuri Gurriel for an error. Bohm scored and Marsh went to at second. Stott rapped a routine grounder to second for the third out.

The Phillies ended the night 0-for-7 with RATS, six of those at-bats coming in the final three innings.

Laura and I ended up watching the last half of the game on mute, talking about the brilliance of Blood on the Tracks and what would be on our respective short lists of concerts to go back in time and see. This was a wise move because I'm sure Sportsnet's Dave Flemming and Dan Plesac grew more insufferable as Houston's win expectancy increased.

I suspected very early on in Game 1 that anything either of those guys said about a particular player was likely bullshit. Both of these guys (like many postseason announcers) did not follow either team until the playoffs. At best, I assume they asked around a little bit and then regurgitated whatever they were told as if it was the gospel truth. (At some point tonight, I remarked that I wished I had my own little research department. Say, two people. When an announcer said (as was said tonight), "the Astros know how to hit the heater", I could call out, "How did Houston's batting average against fastballs this year?" and one of my two assistants would look it up. Looking at FanGraphs, Astros batters saw the fewest fastballs (as a % of pitches) in the AL, but they also led the AL in Weighted Fastball Runs, so maybe it's true -- although I'm sure the announcer had batting average in mind (or maybe something fancy, like OPS).)

In the bottom of the first, Houston was up 2-0. Tucker flied out to center and Alvarez tagged at second and went to third. Matt Vierling's throw was late and it short-hopped Bohm and went into foul territory. Plesac explained that Vierling had "air-mailed" the throw. The ball bounced in front of the fielder! How could Plesac not know that "air-mailing" a throw means having the ball sail way over Bohm's head and maybe even go into the stands on the fly. You know, like how an airplane carrying sacks of letters and packages (by air mail!) flies high in the sky?

Also, Plesac's only point of reference seems to be players from his era. He pitched a long time -- 1986-2003 -- and the only names I heard dropped were Terry Mulholland (whose career covered almost the same years as Plesac) and maybe a couple of guys from the 1993 Phillies. Looking at the roster doesn't help me remember who they were (maybe he only said the year). Anyway, excellent work connecting with the younger fans who might be watching. Someone supposedly threw a curveball like an old pitcher they have never heard of and then offer a short essay about a team that no one talks much about from 30 years ago.

Neither Flemming or Plesac (a former pitcher) seem to guess correctly about what a pitcher would do next. Admittedly, I did not listen carefully all the time, but any time I would tune in, they would anticipate a pitch away (for example) and it would be inside or low. Despite being wrong, they would do it all over again. And be dead wrong again. There was never any acknowledgement of being wrong; it was as if whatever they said had not been spoken.

I wish TV announcers did not feel the need to fill every second with words. It's not radio, we can see what's going on. Having pockets of dead air . . . maybe 20-30 seconds . . . throughout the game would not be a bad thing. Because most of what gets said during a broadcast is not necessary. It's just noise, no different than the short, loud blasts of music that disrupt and pollute the atmosphere in the ball park. A colour guy who offered his thoughts only when something really needed to be said or explained would be most welcome, I think. You certainly wouldn't lose anything. I mean, if you went with a friend to a game and were talking about it, you'd have plenty of moments when you didn't say anything. . . . More thoughts from a grumpy old man on Monday . . .

World Series 1: Phillies 6, Astros 5 (10)

Phillies - 000 320 000 1 - 6  9  0
Astros   - 023 000 000 0 - 5 10  0

J.T. Realmuto lined a solo home run to right field leading off the top of the tenth inning (above) and David Robertson stranded Astros at second and third in the bottom half, giving the Phillies a 6-5 comeback win in Game 1 of the World Series.

This was the first extra-inning World Series game since the Red Sox and Dodgers played 18 innings in 7:20 in Game 3 in 2018. This was also Houston's first loss in eight postseason games this month.

The Phillies became the sixth team to overcome a five-run deficit and win a World Series game. Dusty Baker has been on the losing end of the last two instances (also losing Game 6 of the 2002 WS).

The Astros had never lost a postseason game in which they led by five or more runs (29-0) until tonight. Indeed, the last time they lost any game in which they held by five or more runs was July 26, 2021. Since then, they had won 65 such games (including playoffs). AND the Astros had won 15 straight games in which they led by multiple runs and 31 of their last 32 such games. (h/t Sarah Langs)

She also reports:

Teams are now 589-19 in postseason history when leading by 5+ runs

Teams are now 220-6 when leading by 5+ runs in World Series games. The comebacks:

1929 Game 4 - Athletics trailed by 8
1956 Game 2 - Dodgers trailed by 6
1993 Game 4 - Blue Jays trailed by 5
1996 Game 4 - Yankees trailed by 6
2002 Game 6 - Angels trailed by 5
2022 Game 1 - Phillies trailed by 5

Phillies: now 1-11 when trailing by 5+ in postseason

Perhaps the surprise of the night came when plate umpire James Hoye remembered the rarely-enforced rule against a batter intentionally letting himself get hit by a pitch. In the bottom of the tenth, Alex Bregman doubled off the wall in left and Robertson unintentionally intentionally walked Yuri Gurriel. Facing Aledmys Díaz, who was pinch-hitting for Trey Mancini (0-for-16 in the postseason), Robertson bounced his first offering and the wild pitch moved the potential tying and winning runs to third and second.

Robertson's 2-0 pitch was a bit inside and Díaz leaned into it, moving his left elbow into the pitch's path so he got plunked. Immediately, Hoye came out from behind the plate and made the call. You could hear him on the TV broadcast: Díaz made no effort to avoid the pitch -- quite the opposite, in fact -- so he was not entitled to first base. The pitch was ball 3. Hoye's correct call did not make up for blowing numerous ball/strike calls throughout the night, but this was great to see. Would Hoye have made the same call if it has come in the third inning? Probably not. Díaz swung at and missed the 3-0 pitch before grounding out to third, ending the game.

Justin Verlander came into this game with an 0-6 record in seven World Series starts and a 5.68 ERA. He started off extremely strong, retiring the first 10 Phillies on 42 pitches. He was the first pitcher to retire the first 10 batters in a World Series start since Luis Tiant in Game 1 of the 1975 World Series. I'm not sure that's correct, because it came from the Sportsnet announcers (Dave Flemming and Dan Plesac) and they were consistently stupid all night, so I don't entirely trust them. Case in point: One of them (Plesac?) referred to that Reds/Red Sox seven-game classic as "the Carlton Fisk World Series". God knows baseball announcers have brought up that series many times over the last 47 years, but I don't think I've ever heard it labelled "the Carlton Fisk World Series". Maybe I have, but tonight it sounded like a wrong note hit on a piano. Which reminds me that they also said Realmuto's dong was the first extra-inning World Series home run hit by a catcher since Fisk's foul pole blast ended Game 6 in the bottom of the twelveth inning on October 21, 1975. (This is true.) In the moment, I felt like seeing how many times catchers had batted in extra-inning World Series games since 1975 and what they had done, but I decided against it. If you look it up, I would like to know the details.

As Verlander mowed down the Phillies, his teammates brought in five runs of Aaron Nola (4.1-6-5-2-5, 81). Ken Tucker started the home second with a homer and another run scored on singles from Gurriel, Chas McCormick, and Martin Madonado. (The third single was a perfect hit-and-run play.) In the third, Jeremy Pena doubled, Bregman walked, and Tucker homered again.

With one out in the fourth, Verlander crumbled. The Sportsnet guys could not stop talking about this, how the Phillies did nothing against him the first time they faced him and then attacked the second time through. They seemed to believe no team had ever done this before -- and they kept mentioning it until the final out of the game. If it was a drinking game, you might not have passed out, but you'd have a serious fucking headache tomorrow. Both of them were clearly pro-Astros all night, but it was never more obvious than when Flemming wrapped up by saying "and the Phillies steal Game 1".

Verlander (5-6-5-2-5, 90) faced a total of 23 batters, but there was this split:

First 10 batters: 0 hits, 0 runs, 0 walks, 4 strikeouts, 42 pitches
Next  11 batters: 6 hits, 5 runs, 2 walks, 0 strikeouts, 39 pitches

Verlander's career ERA in World Series Game 1s is 10.29 (16 earned runs in 14 innings). His overall World Series ERA increased to 6.07.

Rhys Hoskins lined a one-out single to left center. Realmuto hit a liner back to Verlander, who dropped the ball and could get only the out at first as Hoskins went to second. Bryce Harper singled to right (the ball took a high hop and nearly got past Tucker). With runners at first and third, Nick Castellanous singlked to left for one run and Alex Bohm doubled into the left field corner and two more. Bryson Stott fouled off four 2-2 pitches before working a 10-pitch walk, but Jean Segura popped to second.

In the fifth, Brandon Marsh doubled down the left field line (after ripping a foul down the right field line). Kyle Schwarber walked and, after Hoskins popped to short, Realmuto doubled off the left field wall to tie the game at 5-5. At that point, both teams were into their bullpens and for the next 4.5 innings, only one runner got past second base.

Zach Elfin took over for the Phillies with one out in the sixth. Gurriel greeted him with a single and McCormick drew a two-out walk. Maldonado knocked a 2-0 pitch near the bag at third and Bohm made a long, one-hop throw for the third out.

The Phillies threatened in the seventh. Schwarber reached on an infield single and stole second with two outs. Bryan Abreu walked both Realmuto and Harper, loading the bases. Hector Neris came in and fanned Castellanos.

Jose Altuve, facing Seranthony Dominguez, dropped a single into short center field with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning. Altuve took off for second on the first pitch to Pena. He was called safe, but the Phillies challenged the call. Realmuto's throw had been perfect and Segura caught the ball with his glove already on Altuve's leg. Every replay seemed far too close to warrant changing the initial call. But then Sportsnet showed one angle, which for some reason seemed darker than the others. In that one, Altuve's cleat could be seen more clearly in relation to the bag. From that particular angle, it looked like Altuve was out. However, the safe call was upheld. Pena took a called strike and then popped a pitch into short right near the line. If the ball fell in, Altuve would score the winning run easily. Castellanos sprinted in and over, and made a sliding, game-saving catch for the out.

As mentioned, Realmuto got real real gone off Luis Garcia in the tenth and gave his team a 6-5 lead. Harper followed with a single and was forced at second by Castellanos. Bohm grounded to third. Ryan Stanek came in from the bullpen and walked Stott. Segura then hit a soft liner to third.

As the Astros came off the field, Flemming noted that the Phillies needed to get "three big outs" (true enough) and then he added "this one is a long way from being over". Whaaa? No, it's not. We're in extra innings. Even if the Astros tied it up, the game could end in any subsequent inning. Way back in the middle of the fifth, after the Phillies had rallied from 0-5 to 5-5, THAT would be the proper time to offer that old cliche, "this one is a long way from being over".

Also . . . and all announcers do this . . . I cannot understand how an announcer can describe the previous pitch or play and say something that is directly contradicted by what is shown on the screen. Early in this game, Plesac was talking about a pitch that was "right in the corner of the strike zone". And on the screen as he's speaking is a strike zone graphic that shows the pitch out of the zone by a decent margin. I don't get it. The announcer corrects himself in those situations maybe 1 in 75 times. The other 74 times, he continues undeterred, as if his description of what he thinks happened can and will alter the reality of the pitch or play. It's okay, guys, really, your manhood is not on the line here. But maybe don't be so definitive before you see the replay.

We've also heard countless announcers call what the play will be before it actually happens and then sound like an idiot when something else happens instead. Dave O'Brien is a master at this. One of our dogs had been staring a hole through me (she was asking to go out) for a few batters so when Segura popped up with two down in the fourth, I wrote P4 (in pen, of course) on my scoresheet before Altuve actually caught the ball. I had a good laugh when he bobbled the ball. I don't think I have any correction fluid in the house. (I have finally learned not to write in plays that might be challenged.)

This was also the first World Series game in which both teams started a rookie shortstop. Seems like that should have happened before. Well, it has for the other three infield positions, but not shortstop.

The winner of the first game of a best-of-7 postseason series has ended up winning the series 64.7% of the time (121 of 187). Go Phillies! . . . and phuck the Astros.

I posted this in the game thread:

Battle of the Mascots . . .

Schadenfreude 335 (A Continuing Series)

YED is one game away!

Astros  - 020 003 000 - 5  6  0 
Yankees - 000 000 000 - 0  3  1

Shemp threw out the first pitch.

Later on, Judge was booed by the ever-classy and loyal fans (who started heading for the exits at the end of the sixth inning).

Dan Martin, Post:

The last two times they faced the Astros in the ALCS, the Yankees lost tough, close series.

This year, they were determined to forge a different outcome.

Now, they are perilously close to succeeding, just not in the way they had hoped.

After two narrow losses to start the ALCS in Houston, the Yankees returned home Saturday and were outclassed by the Astros, pushing them to the brink of being swept out of the playoffs.

They couldn't hit, they couldn't field, and Gerrit Cole was outpitched by Cristian Javier in a 5-0 loss in Game 3 in The Bronx.

That has left the Yankees in the unenviable position of having to win four straight games . . .

Only one MLB team has managed to do it: The 2004 Red Sox, who beat the Yankees in four straight games en route to the title. . . .

Cole gave up a two-run homer to Chas McCormick after a two-out error by Harrison Bader in the second inning. Then, Cole left with the bases loaded and no one out in the sixth and all three runners scored.

The offense, in a rut for much of the playoffs, got even worse on Saturday, much to the dismay of the sold out Yankee Stadium crowd. . . .

[A] key mistake in the outfield burned the Yankees in the second inning.

With two outs, Christian Vázquez hit a fly ball to right-center that either Bader or Aaron Judge should have caught easily. A near-collision between the two, however, caused Bader to drop the ball.

The inning was extended, and McCormick sent an opposite-field shot to right that hit the top of the fence and bounced over for a two-run homer, which traveled just 335 feet and put the Yankees in a 2-0 hole.

Cole was yanked in the sixth inning, after 96 pitches, with the bases loaded and no one out in favor of Lou Trivino.

Trey Mancini hit a sacrifice fly to left and Vázquez followed with a two-run single to make it 5-0, as Houston's 7-8-9 hitters drove in all five runs.

Joel Sherman, Post:

Imagine "Citizen Kane" without being shown what "Rosebud" is. "Friends" without resolution on Ross and Rachel. "The Great Gatsby" without its final page.

[Hi, JoS here. Again. Sorry to interrupt the fun, but I wanted to point out that Sherman's references here are old even for a middle-aged, white sportswriter: Citizen Kane came out in 1941, The Great Gatsby was published in 1925 (97 years ago!), and Friends ended in that wonderful year of 2004. Including a pop culture reference from this century is unusually recent, but it's off-set by the other two, which are from 97 and 81 years ago.]

Is Aaron Judge's unforgettable season really going to end so forgettably? Is the Judge Era in Yankees baseball going to be remembered for never even reaching the World Series because they notably could never solve the Astros? 

Judge . . . has been no October weightlifter. Instead, he is a co-conspirator to historic offensive ineptness. But, due to his stature, he is no sidekick. Judge is the face of it as his regular season of boom descends into a postseason of boo — at Yankee Stadium. . . .

Actually, this ALCS going as expected based on history. The Yankees have played 10 games against the Astros this season, and the only two they won — hell, the only two in which they led after any of the 91 innings between these teams — came on Judge walk-off hits in two late-June games. Then, like now, the Yankees go as Judge goes.

Thus, the Yankees are about to go home. . . .

[Game 3] will not be part of Judge's Yankeeography. His miscommunication on defense with Harrison Bader helped gift the Astros two runs in the second inning and, with one final chance to perhaps launch the Yankees back into the game/series, he grounded out with two on and two outs in the eighth. That left him 0-for-4 with two strikeouts in this game, 1-for-12 in this series . . .

For the third time in six years — the entire Judge era — the Yankees are facing elimination in the ALCS by the Astros. Their excuses (sign-stealing, buzzers, opening of a retractable roof) are like their performance against Houston — getting worse. They lost in seven games in 2017, six games in 2019 and are near humiliation this time. . . .

[T]he Yanks had one hit through eight innings before two meaningless ninth-inning singles. Cristian Javier had pitched the best game against the Yankees this season, throwing the first seven innings of a June 25 no-hitter with 13 strikeouts. He only threw a first-pitch strike to 6 of 19 hitters Saturday, yet still pitched 5.1 shutout innings as the Yankees could do nothing even ahead in the count.

During the season, Judge magic often saved them at these times. But he is now 5-for-32 with 14 strikeouts this postseason. Against Houston, he has a single and no walks in three games, and the Yankees are hitting .128 with four total runs.

You need to be neither jury nor Judge to see the obvious. The Yankees' only path to overcome a superior team living in their heads would be on Judge's broad shoulders.

But the regular season ended nearly three weeks ago.

Kristie Ackert, Daily News:

Aaron Judge heard the boos Saturday night and he understood them. For the third time in the last six years, the Yankees have been on a collision course with the Astros for a chance to go to the World Series for the first time in 14 years. . . . [This could be] the third time the Bombers are bounced in the American League Championship Series. . . .

Only one team in the history of baseball has come back from losing the first three games of a seven-game series; the 2004 Red Sox came back to beat the Bombers. . . .

In the eight postseason games, 18 of the 22 earned runs [the Yankees] have scored were via the home run. Saturday was the second straight game when they did not hit a home run. They were 14-26 in games without a home run. As a team, they are 12-for-94 (.129) with four runs, five extra-base hits, nine walks and 41 strikeouts. . . . 

Josh Donaldson . . . struck out to end the game to a chorus of boos from those who remained of the crowd announced at 47,569

The Yankees . . . have scored the fewest runs and have the lowest slugging percentage and OPS of the four teams still in the playoffs. . . .

Judge . . . is 5-32 with 2 homers and 14 strikeouts in eight playoff games. Anthony Rizzo is 1-for-9 . . . in the three games of the ALCS. Giancarlo Stanton . . . is 3-for-12. Matt Carpenter made contact Saturday, snapping his streak of eight straight strikeouts in his first postseason eight at-bats. He [is now] 1-for-9 in this series with seven strikeouts. Donaldson is 1-for-9 with seven strikeouts and Gleyber Torres is 1-for-11 . . .

Matthew Roberson, Daily News:

Cole's night finished with some light drama, as the Yankees held a mound visit after the walk to Tucker, and when Yuli Gurriel's subsequent single put runners at every base, a second one made his removal mandatory.

"I was not ready to come out," Cole said in one of many short postgame answers. . . .

As for Cole, the tough loss puts his team in a situation where the odds are historically stacked against them. A total of 39 teams in major league history have fallen behind 0-3 in a postseason series. The 2004 Red Sox are still the only one that has come back to win. . . .

Pitching in defense of hitters that have been zombie-like all series is no easy task for a pitcher either. That's what Cole, Severino and Jameson Taillon have had to do in the first three ALCS games. Cole said they knew [they] would have to do everything in their power to help out [and pick up] a Yankee offense that is down horrendously. . . .

One group that absolutely was not going to provide that pick-me-up on Saturday were the fed up Yankee fans. The stadium started gradually clearing out after the Astros' put up a three-spot in the sixth inning and by the end of the game, all the noise coming from the seats was characterized by anger. . . .

The people who are planning to attend Game 4 bought tickets for a baseball game, but they might end up getting a funeral instead.

Larry Brooks, Post:

[T]he Yankees could have thrown a four-armed monster of Whitey Ford, Ron Guidry, David Cone and Allie Reynolds at Houston and it would not have mattered, unless baseball savants could devise a way to win a game without scoring a run.

There is fear and loathing in Mr. Judge's neighborhood following the 5-0 Game 3 defeat in The Bronx that left the Yankees on the verge of extinction as soon as Sunday. . . . 

[T]he Yankees, waiting 'til next year … after year, after year, after year … since their last World Series title in 2009, will have to wait one more day to try and get so much as a single victory over their tormentors, who fair, square and otherwise, previously eliminated them from postseason play in 2015, 2017 and 2019. . . .

The Yankees need to play pristine ball to beat the Astros. They did not play pristine ball in Game 3.

The debatable call by Boone to remove Cole (the kind that adds up in the postseason) became academic when the Yankees . . . had one hit through the first 8.2 innings.

[In Houston's fifth inning] A walk and a flare that dropped into short right followed a hard-hit double to left. Boone had a choice between sticking with his ace or giving the ball to a reliever. He chose the latter, calling on Lou Trivino. . . .

The bases were cleared two batters into Trivino's stint after a sac fly and a two-run single. . . . Trivino . . . was booed after the inning. . . . 

If you want to make the case that the Yankees might have been able to fight back had Cole remained in and wriggled out of the jam, well, you would sound like an individual talking about open roofs and exit velocity.

The Yankees have amassed 12 hits over three games, which includes a pair of two-out ninth-inning singles Saturday. They cut their strikeouts down to 10 after racking up 17 and 13, respectively, in Houston. Whoop-de-do.

Justin Tasch, Post:

Michael Kay clearly wasn't a fan of Aaron Boone's decision to pull Gerrit Cole in the sixth inning of the Yankees' Game 3 loss to the Astros on Saturday.

While the Yankees offense was listless in the 5-0 defeat that saw them fall behind 3-0 in the ALCS, the game was 2-0 when Cole loaded the bases with no outs in the sixth. He was at 96 pitches at that point, and Boone lifted Cole for Lou Trivino, who allowed all three inherited runners to score.

"I don't get it," Kay said on the YES Network postgame show. "I heard [Boone's] answer, he said 'We're down 2-0, we have to keep it right there.' Well don't you trust Gerrit Cole more than Lou Trivino? Even Gerrit Cole at [96] pitches, I trust him to save my season. Not a knock on Lou Trivino, but that's not even your top reliever. That doesn't make sense.

"The only thing that would've made sense was if Cole was hurt. He's not hurt. He's your ace. He won those two games against the Guardians. He's why you're in the American League Championship Series, and you take him out there because you didn't want the game to get out of hand? He's the guy [who] can keep it from getting out of hand."

Mike Vaccaro, Post:

For large swaths of the summer, both the Yankees and Mets not only looked like the best team in baseball, but also they both seemed custom-designed for October success. Between them, they won 200 games. That never has happened before in New York City, going back to 1962. . . .

Everyone, for almost six straight months, was in a good mood. Baseball made them that way.

Is it really this close to being over?

Is it truly possible that by the close of business Sunday, both ballparks could be shuttered, the padlocks fastened to the front doors, both teams leaving October in a hail of strikeouts and weak pop flies and runners stranded and rallies foiled? Can that be so?

Say it ain't so.

It's so.

The Yankees lost 5-0 to the Astros on Saturday in Game 3 of the ALCS, and that nudged their toes right to the edge of the abyss, nudged New York's fun-filled baseball season to the brink of extinction . . . Their scuffling offense continued to scuffle, and the Astros made them pay for it.

The Astros, in fact, made them pay for just about everything. There was the lazy fly ball in the second that Harrison Bader dropped after he was no doubt jarred by the onrushing presence of Aaron Judge. A few pitches later, Chas McCormick found the short porch in right field for a 2-0 lead.

Four innings later, Aaron Boone took the ball away from Gerrit Cole, sitting on 96 pitches, in a bases-loaded jam, and gave it instead to Lou Trivino. Two batters later it was 5-0. And the way the Yankees' bats presently look, that might well have been 15-0. Or 50-0. . . .

Saturday, the Yankees managed all of one hit against the Astros across the first 8.2 innings. Even when Houston showed a smidgen of largesse — Hunter Brown walking the first two hitters of the eighth inning — the best they could do was get a man to third before going down meekly.

Boos rained down then, and that has become the sad soundtrack of this postseason . . . boos in The Bronx. . . .

And here we are, at the brink, at the abyss, at the precipice. . . .

This baseball season promised so much to deliver this little.

Jon Heyman, Post:

The Astros lucked their way to yet another victory in Game 3, and these lucky dogs are now only a win away from going to their fourth fortunate World Series in six serendipitous years.

They've now beaten the Yankees three straight games in the ALCS and 8 of 10 times these two American League powerhouses have hooked up this year.

The Astros won all six games they've played this postseason after somehow lucking their way to 106 wins in the regular season.

And they're one victory away from knocking the Yankees out of the postseason derby for the fourth time in eight years.

The Astros . . . were lucky enough to play a near-perfect game and outplay the Yankees in every facet . . . And also lucky to be playing a team with a team with no .300 hitters this postseason (and five guys batting below .100), a DH who hasn't had a hit in a month and a rotation of three shortstops, two of whom barely played that key position one game in the bigs before this ALCS.

Can you believe how lucky these sons of a gun are?

No one knows how they do it. . . . 

Sure, the Astros have reached six straight league championship series. But that's too small a sample size for me. I'm going to have to see them do it many more years before I start to consider whether I might believe some of it.

The wind undoubtedly aided the Astros in Game 2, and this time it was the short porch. Chas McCormick's two-run home run even struck the top of the wall before flying over. . . .

The Astros' luck seems to be a never-ending thing, as it's gone on all series, and really, over the eight years these teams have been facing each in October. . . .

The Yankees were hitting .172 this postseason entering the game. Never mind the 30 times they struck out in the first two games of this series, they keep hitting close enough to Astros for them to produce outs. . . .

Come to think of it, maybe the Astros aren't lucky.

Maybe it's just that the Yankees are extremely unlucky — to keep having to play the Astros.

Abbey Mastracco, Daily News:

Cristian Javier had one-hit the Yankees through 5.1 and was pulled after Anthony Rizzo reached on a walk. The Astros [leading 5-0] went to the bullpen for Judge, bringing out right-hander Hector Neris.

Judge struck out on three straight pitches, looking at a fastball for strike three. He walked back to the dugout to a chorus of boos. Judge went 0-for-4 against Javier, Neris and former Mets' pitcher Rafael Montero and the Yankees lost 5-0 to go down 3-0 in the series. . . .

This isn't the first time Judge has received a Bronx Cheer during the postseason. The slugger heard plenty of them in Game 2 of the ALDS against the Cleveland Guardians . . . 

With fans eager to see their team . . . finally get over the Houston hump, they were expecting more from their record-breaking star. Judge is just 1-for-11 against the Astros through three games and 5-for-30 with 14 strikeouts and only a single walk in the playoffs overall. . . .

Judge looks more than "a little tired," according to an AL scout. The adrenaline can only do so much. It can't make up for altered timing and some of the other hangover-like effects that often plague hitters during slumps. . . .

To make matters worse, [Judge] may be playing some of his final games in pinstripes, set to become a free agent in just a few weeks. . . . These last few at-bats . . . could leave a negative impression on fans as he heads into an uncertain winter.

Phil Mushnick, Post:

It's not an unreasonable request. All you want to do is watch the ballgame. But … 

It's another of those systemic epidemics, no good reason for it, and easily fixed or treated — like a runny nose, a loose screw or John Smoltz. But it persists and even worsens as part of the plan. 

Wednesday afternoon on Fox, Game 2 of the Phillies-Padres NLCS. Happy to have a game to watch. Initially. . . . Philly's Matt Vierling hit a high fly to right. 

Clearly, right fielder Juan Soto, even while wearing sunglasses, lost the ball in the sun. As he ducked to avoid a beaning, the ball fell, a run scored, Vierling wound up on second. 

It was nothing we hadn't seen before. It was self-evident, self-explanatory, not an uncommon occurrence in daylight baseball. . . . 

But not these days, not with Smoltz and many like him in the booth. Smoltz did what he does, and what he has done since Fox hired him in 2014: He applied far more analysis to the episode than it was worth, again driving discriminate viewers batty before their fannies could crease an easy chair. 

Ready for it? Here goes: 

"Yeah, we talked about it, and that sun hit him in the absolute perfect spot at the last minute. He tried to shade it with the glove, but he can't pick it up. Sometimes you've got to get on the side of the sun, which is hard to do when it's directly pointing in your eyes. He tried everything he did. He had the sunglasses and it was unfortunate, really, for the Padres." 

At that point Smoltz had to stop to draw a breath, but he wasn't done. 

"It's the worst feeling in the world. I mean, you're trying your best to track that ball, and you've got to move and track it. And then, one, you look back to the ball and all you see is a glare, the sun, obviously." 

Yes, obviously. Still, Smoltz wasn't done: 

"The reason the right fielder, I think, has the hardest ability to do just this is that it's directly at him. He has no way to really shield it. The center fielder can shield it, he has the angles. Obviously, the left fielder can do the same thing. But the right fielder, based on where that sun is, looks like it's a direct impact." 

In other words, Soto lost the ball in the sun. 

And then back to Smoltz analyzing every pitch. 

Man, I love watching the Yankees suck https://t.co/s2a2MzZJwa

— Philips Lane (@philips_lane) October 22, 2022

It’s clear Chaim Bloom traded Christian Vazquez to the Astros to help end the Yankees postseason.
pic.twitter.com/oAqBo6AqDe

— Beyond the Monster (@BeyondtheMnstr) October 22, 2022

In case you wanted to see some Yankees fans react to Judge’s NOT home run: pic.twitter.com/t49Wwbi4Yo

— Space City Sports (@LiveSCS) October 21, 2022

Yankees fans after a walk pic.twitter.com/QGRumuwHyD

— Jake Montgomery (@JakeMontgomery_) October 23, 2022

‘Sell the team’ chants are breaking out in the Bronx

Yankees fans are in shambles pic.twitter.com/yHl1QkCx0S

— Barstool Sportsbook (@BSSportsbook) October 23, 2022

Eighteen Years Ago, It Began

October 17, 2004: the Greatest Comeback Ever began… and there was no sleep for the next four days. #RedSoxpic.twitter.com/YaF99fdXB7

— Red (@SurvivingGrady) October 17, 2022

From Don't Let Us Win Tonight: An Oral History Of The 2004 Boston Red Sox's Impossible Playoff Run:

Chapter 13 — After Game Three

Dan Shaughnessy, Boston Globe:

The Yankees stripped the Red Sox of all dignity last night, pummeling six Boston pitchers en route to a hideous 19-8 victory, which gives them a 3-0 lead.

So there. For the 86th consecutive autumn, the Red Sox are not going to win the World Series.

Eric Wilbur, Boston Globe:

This series is over. Baseball in Boston is over for another season. If you headed to the game this evening [for Game Four], you're forgiven for leaving in the seventh. Not to avoid traffic. To avoid watching the Yankees celebrate on your team's home turf. . . .

This Red Sox team, the vanilla Red Sox for nearly half a season, choked at the wrong moment. The Yankees are their Daddy for reasons unknown. . . . [E]njoy your last chance this year to watch what was admittedly a fun Boston team.

Tony Massarotti, Boston Herald:

They are doing more than just losing now. They are disgracing the game and embarrassing themselves, and they are doing a disservice to the paying customers who blindly and faithfully stream through their doors.

Shame, shame, shame on the Red Sox. . . . What a joke.

Sean McAdam, Providence Journal:

Let the record show that, for the second straight season, the beginning of the end of the Red Sox season came on October 16.

Bob Ryan, Boston Globe:

Soon it will be over, and we will spend another dreary winter lamenting this and lamenting that. Sure, you can root for the National League team to defeat the Yankees, but just exactly how satisfying is that going to be? . . .

August seems a long time ago. The Anaheim series seems a long time ago. The idea that the Red Sox accomplished anything good at all this season seems inconceivable.

Jackie MacMullan, Boston Globe:

So now the Sox are down, 3-0, and it's over, and everyone knows it, even the resilient Boston players who have never said die all season.

Jim Donaldson, Providence Journal:

Johnny Damon may look like a prophet, but his words have proven false.

It is not, as he said, the Red Sox who are a bunch of idiots. What they are is a bunch of chokes.

The idiots are all those fools who truly believed this would be the year . . . Only a bunch of idiots would continue to put their faith in this chronically overpaid and underachieving aggregation of ill-kempt characters . . . Sure, they're loose. They're also losers.

Jeff Jacobs, Hartford Courant:

Never did the Yankees look more professional. Never did the Red Sox look more amateurish. Never did the Yankees' hitting machine look more relentless. Never did the Red Sox' pitching staff look sillier. . . . This baby is over. It was supposed to be the best series in history. Instead it was just another cheap Fox sitcom.

Selena Roberts, New York Times:

Torre emanates calm; Francona reflects desperation. Torre manages against the reservoir of his own greatness; Francona manages against the ghost of Grady Little. . . .

Perception is fluid. If the Red Sox fight their way back against the Yankees in this series - though no team has come back from an 0-3 deficit – Francona could go from being a pushover for his rebellious team of latent teenagers to a man who understood the value of a carefree clubhouse for a franchise miserable since 1918. He could, but he won't. . . .

John Harper, New York Daily News:

So much for another epic series between these teams. The Sox are done, not only because no team has ever come back from a 3-0 deficit but because Derek Lowe is all they have left to throw at a Yankee lineup that is salivating at the sight of fastballs, curveballs, knuckleballs, you name it. . . .

"I believe we can do it," Damon said. "I do." He sounded like, what else? An idiot.

George King, New York Post:

The victory gives the Yankees a 3-0 lead in the best-of-seven series going into tonight's Game Four. No team in baseball has flushed such a bulge. That means the Yankees are a lock for their 40th flag, and their second straight World Series appearance.

Ian O'Connor, USAToday:

This had nothing to do with a curse and plenty to do with a hoax. The Boston Red Sox, the 2004 edition, had everyone good and duped. They will go down as an Enron-sized monument to consumer fraud. . . . April Fool's Day came to a mid-October night, when the Red Sox exposed themselves as counterfeit postseason goods.

Peter Schmuck, Baltimore Sun:

The Yankees squashed the Sox like so many bugs around a drain, leaving little doubt who would be the eventual American League participant in the World Series. The only thing haunting the Red Sox were those horrible hairdos, which don't look quite so rakish and charming when somebody's smacking you across the face. The Red Sox were so overmatched that fans were waxing nostalgic for Bill Buckner and Grady Little. At least they provided some drama.

Steve Politi, Newark Star-Ledger:

Eighty-five years from now, when the Red Sox fans are sitting around in their spaceships and discussing the missed opportunities during the 17 decades without a world championship, they will certainly remember the collapse of 2004.

The Curse lives. Long live The Curse!

Dewey Defeats Truman!

How To Rope In The "Younger Generation": Have A Sententious, Self-Important 70-Year-Old Man Wax Grandiloquently For More Than Three Hours Every Night

Is Bob Costas doing anything specific to inspire these fantastic tweets or is he simply being his usual pompous and pontificating self?

Either way, I cannot get enough of these (updated, with more in comments):

BOB COSTAS: While it may seem like a joyous night for fans on the banks of Lake Erie, the unfortunate truth remains: it is, indeed, possible that the Zodiac Killer—who has yet to be officially caught—could be among the Cleveland fans
RON DARLING: I think he held his swing there

bob costas: "we're here in cleveland, where the slight autumn chill in the air is a bleak reminder of the chilling fact that each day we are all spiraling towards the unavoidable conclusion we call death"
ron darling: "i think he goes fastball here"

COSTAS: The joys of going to a baseball game, eating a hot dog, seeing your favorite players are all erased when you remember we are all doomed to infinite darkness once our unfulfilling lives are mercifully ended by the universe
DARLING: 2-2 count, he has to be thinking cutter

Bob Costas- "On what is a beautiful evening for baseball, it is hard to ignore the fact that one day we will all take our last breath on this earth. Then every record of our existence will vanish into the vast expanse of our universe."
Ron Darling- "Corner infielders playing in"

Bob Costas: If you're watching this muted, you're absorbing the human experience with your own eyes, as the raucous cheers appear only as silent screams into the void of our own existence. In the end, as the beginning, is the timeless nothing.
Darling: missed with the curve

Bob Costas: Looking ahead, Gerrit Cole is under contract for a long time in New York and Game 3 of the 2027 ALDS could be in Toronto & it appears Cole's passport is set to expire in 2026 so have to wonder what Cashman might do about that
Ron Darling: Catcher is setting up inside

Bob Costas: The bat is splintered, reminding us of the collapsing ecosystem in the Amazon. Countless trees ripped from the Earth, unable to supply oxygen to this suffocating planet.
Ron Darling: He was a bit early on that curveball.

Costas: We welcome you back to the Cathedral of Baseball, Yankee Stadium, nestled so perfectly here in the Bronx as if it were carved into the topography of New York eons ago; a presence as inexorable within the five boroughs as a bagel with a shmear
Ron Darling: Goose on field

BOB COSTAS: Should this series go five, Gerrit Cole would start Game 3 of the ALCS. He couldn't pitch on only three days' rest, which was the custom of the past. Perhaps players were of a heartier stock. Perhaps America was of a heartier stock.
RON DARLING: Pitch looked outside

No one:
Bob Costas: "Of course, shadows are named for John Shadow, who once defecated in his pants when he espied an obsidian silhouette that appeared to follow him wherever he went. As the first man to notice this, he of course named the phenomenon eponymously."

Bob Costas: and the Yankees have given up the lead, just like i gave up my job with NBC. We are all reminded every day we are all just cogs in the capitalist machine we call the US of A
Ron Darling: good eye by Judge

Costas: As the moon rises higher on this autumnal night we reflect on all of our past mistakes, especially those made by minorities and females. But alas, we can only hope they are still accepted into the great beyond.
Darling: I’d expect a breaking ball here.

Bob Costas: Another inning, but nothing happens. The scenery changes, people come in and go out, that's all. There are no beginnings. Days are tacked onto days without rhyme or reason, an interminable, monotonous addition.
Ron Darling: And that’s another 123 inning for Cole.

Bob Costas: It's that time of year, when the first leaf of autumn falls forlornly on the barren ground below, and the air is filled with the promise of crispness and color.
Ron Darling: Cole's cutter is really working for him tonight

Bob Costas: Here we are at Progressive Field! This place is not a place of honor… no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here. What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger-
Ron Darling: And that’s ball one

bob costas: "we're here in cleveland, all breathing the same air, a reminder that each breath brings us closer to death; the only guarantee of this bastard called life."
ron darling: "umpire calls time."

Bob Costas: We're in Cleveland, just a 30 minute drive from where Jeffrey Dahmer grew up and committed his first murder, and on these chill autumn days one can still feel that malevolence hanging over this sold out crowd
Ron Darling: Yanks looking for a double play ball here

bob costas: "as we sit here and watch game 4, you can't help but wonder: who lives in a pineapple under the sea? absorbant and yellow and porous is he. if nautical nonsense be something you wish, then drop on the deck and flop like a fish"
ron darling: "shift is on"

Bob Costas: "Welcome back to the concrete jungle for the third time this series. We've got skies of blue and clouds of white. Bright blessed day transitioning to the dark sacred night. And I have to think to myself, what a wonderful world"
Ron Darling: "curveball just outside"

Bob Costas: The bat is splintered, reminding us of the collapsing ecosystem in the Amazon. Countless trees ripped from the Earth, unable to supply oxygen to this suffocating planet.
Ron Darling: He was a bit early on that curveball.

*shows baby on screen*
Bob Costas: "The mind still developing, she does not know all her life leads to the inevitable arrival of death"
*batter looks at strike 3*
Bob Costas: "Until we too are seated at the Right Hand"
Ron Darling: "Went back to the cutter on 2-2"

BOB COSTAS: "You know, I was once helping the great Vin Scully shop for paint at Lowe's. He settled on a gallon of Agreeable Gray for his home office, and I was just thinking to myself, 'Is there anyone more agreeable than V...'"
RON DARLING: "Straw with a fly to right."

COSTAS: But you also have to consider that Babe Ruth was playing during an era where America was still recovering from the Great Depression, when people had to use cinnamon in hamburger patties to mask the taste of spoiled meat
DARLING: Cabrera is playing Straw surprisingly deep

Costas: "Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably. Happy birthday? No such thing."
Darling: "Rizzo calls time."

BOB COSTAS: Speaking of Judge, I can't help be reminded of the scandal involving the judges during the pairs' figure skating competition at the 2002 Winter Olympics. Canada, like Tristan McKenzie, thought they had done enough to win, but...
RON DARLING: Kwan takes one low.

COSTAS: And of course the Elephant Man's bones remain on display, separated from the rest of his body which lays in an unmarked grave in England. A cruel reminder that spectacle will always overrule the tenets of basic human decency
DARLING: Stanton chases a slider low and away

BOB COSTAS: "Gimenez with a great year at second base this year. Which reminds me, Jeff Kent is in the crowd tonight... Kent, a great second baseman who had nothing to do with the tragedy at Kent State in 1970."
RON DARLING: "Higashioka fouls one off."

Costas: "The sad reality is that, while watching your favorite baseball team win in October is thrilling, that feeling is fleeting. We are soon to have sunset at 4pm and freezing temps and blizzards across the eastern seaboard"
Darling: "Judge is finally heating up at the plate"

BOB COSTAS: History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
RON DARLING: they should pinch hit here

COSTAS: While Cleveland fans may be celebrating now, it is impossible to ignore that statistically 14% of this crowd will die due to opioid addiction thanks to the evil pharmaceutical industry.
DARLING: Short pop up to the infield and that'll take us to the 3rd.

Costas: Cleveland fans are elated right now, but soon enough, the fog of the Postseason will clear and all 36,000+ paid attendees will face the harsh reality that they will never be truly happy and will inevitably die and burden their children with their outstanding debts
Darling: Austin Hedges is one tough cookie behind home plate

COSTAS: And it is, perhaps, worth noting. After all the years of planned obsolescence within the Apple corporation, a rather jaded generation has emerged. Desperately seeking the instant gratification they crave—
DARLING: that one bounces in front of the plate.

Costas: Ron did u know, the Yankees Kiner-Falefa was born in Hawaii? Incidentally I know Tom Selleck, who in the 80’s played Magnum P.I., a private investigator in Hawaii. That man loved bourbon and Chinese checkers.
Ron: Some action in the bullpen…

COSTAS: Most fans know the eephus pitch, the arcing slow ball popularized in the '40s by Rip Sewell. Lesser known is Sewell's involvement in developing an undetectable poison that he used to paralyze several former teammates.
DARLING: Good take on a borderline pitch by Ramirez.

COSTAS: The weather has shifted from the balmy days of early September to the crisper, cooler days of mid-October. Reminds me of the 1987 World Series where the Cardinals took game 3 at home to cut the series to 2-1 in favor of the Twins.
DARLING: Ramirez takes a slider low.

BOB COSTAS: Cleveland is tied 1-1. If you think this team has hope let me tell you something. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. I mean Mexico is way the hell down there and you're in here and that's the way it is."
RON DARLING: He went back to the cutter.

COSTAS: And who could forget Earl Averill hitting 31 homers for Cleveland in 1934, as the city was gripped in terror by the still unsolved Torso Murders
DARLING: 2-2 here, I’d look for a curveball in the dirt

COSTAS: This game is a beautiful reminder that one day, the sun will explode and end all life as we know it
DARLING: Looks like Francona is going to the bullpen.

BOB COSTAS: "The Cleveland Guardians are an American professional baseball team based in Cleveland. The Guardians compete in Major League Baseball (MLB) as a member club of the American League (AL) Central division. Since 1994, they have played at Progressive Field. Since their establishment as a Major League franchise in 1901, the team has won 11 Central division titles, six American League pennants, and two World Series championships (in 1920 and 1948). The team's World Series championship drought since 1948 is the longest active among all 30 current Major League teams.[1] The team's name references the Guardians of Traffic, eight monolithic 1932 Art Deco sculptures by Henry Hering on the city's Hope Memorial Bridge, which is adjacent to Progressive Field.[2][3] The team's mascot is named "Slider."[4] The team's spring training facility is at Goodyear Ballpark in Goodyear, Arizona.[5]"
RON DARLING: "Two down for Hicks."

Does Bob Costas ever shut the fuck up?

Bob Costas if this game goes into extras: "… he eats eggs for breakfast on Thursdays… two yolks, four whites… sunny side up… rye toast… a little burnt bc that's how his dad used to eat it… then comes the juice… orange… no pulp… he likes his ketchup room temperature…"

Bob Costas be like: "Just 2 years ago he was cleaning up a junkie's shit off a McDonald's washroom wall. Now he is serving Beer at Yankee Stadium for game 1 of the ALDS. Truly a heroic story of adversity."

I now believe that Bob Costas thinks he's the only person with a functioning memory and it's his job to keep all of human history alive through oral tradition

Holy shit Bob Costas I feel like I'm listening to a Ken Burns documentary. Call the fucking game, I don't care about Aaron Boone's family tree and the 1948 Cleveland Indians.

Bob Costas is the human version of a meeting that should’ve been an e-mail

If Bob Costas was forced to take a shot every time he used the racist former name he'd be dead of alcohol poisoning after a couple of innings, and then Ron Darling could call the game himself.

bob costas announced the peña homer during the yankee game as if he had just found out the second tower got hit

I'm wondering what Ron Darling is doing during Costas' 25-minute soliloquies. Catching up on some light reading maybe?

Bob Costas: "The crisp nature of the air is a prescient indicator of how daunting a ball will travel with the crack of a bat."

It's been painful listing to him call these games. He cares more about lecturing you about the game than actually doing PBP. When he does PBP he treats it like a regular season game in June.

It's unbelievable actually. Baseball fans know all this stuff already, when you sit for 3 hours a clip every day for months and years, you hear all the human interest stuff, he talks down to ppl like they have never seen a baseball game before.

From yesterday:
[base hit]
Costas: "As Mel Allen might say: how about that?"
Fucking broke me.

...and that is how "hanging Chad" entered the American lexicon, Ron. Judge takes ball two.

My favorite part was him calling out Cabrera for celebrating his HR but totally giving Harrison Bader a pass for pimping his. Oh, I'm sure it's just a veteran thing, Bob. I'm sure of it.

I wasn't sure it got any worse than Joe Buck but Bob Costas sure is making a strong case for himself this post season! 🙄

I'm glad he told of the history of a bridge for a solid five minutes there in the third.

Is Darling even still there?

I can't unhear the Bob Costas twitter meme now with every single thing he says

"If and underline if several times Cleveland gets out of here with a win"- Bob Costas, Yankee fan

For real, is Bob Costas a minority owner of the Yankees? 🤔

Bob Costas when the Yankees are up.
Aaron Judge adopted an abandoned litter of kittens.
Bob Costas when the Guardians are up. (who had more hits in both games BTW) 
"pin stripes are slimming."

*Guardians beat the Yankees with a walkoff hit from Oscar Gonzalez*
Bob Costas: The Yankees injuries have been brutal and despite this they nearly won.

Bob Costas: "It needs to be stressed that Houston will need to open the roof due to the sheer size of Aaron Judge. The only question becomes will the Yankees sweep or will Houston just forfeit in fear?"
Ron Darling: "Bob, Cleveland just eliminated the Yankees."