March 10, 2021

MFY-LOL: Aaron Judge Says Gary Sanchez Could Be AL MVP

Did the perpetually-injured Aaron Judge recently suffer a concussion?

Perhaps he was merely "smoking the objective pipe".

Last Sunday, Judge claimed that teammate Gary Sanchez, who is comically ham-fisted behind the plate, unrepentantly lazy on the base paths, and the owner of batting averages of .186 and .147 in two of the last three seasons, is actually a Most Valuable Player candidate.

Gary's a guy that can go out there and win AL MVP. He's that dynamic and that important of a player to this team.

Mr. Maniloaf is wearing one hell of a good disguise.

Sanchez worked with Yankees catching instructor Tanner Swanson before the 2020 season — and watched his Defensive Runs Saved get worse from 2019, from -2 runs to -4 runs. He was also benched during the 2020 postseason, as the MFY preferred backup Kyle Higashioka.

I have no doubt that MFY manager Aaron Boone has said these exact words before (and been proven wrong):

There's just a real business-like way he's going about things. . . . I just feel like he looks like he's in a really good place.

Well, at least they still have Adam Ottavino . . . oh, wait . . .

Johnny Damon was charged with DUI in Florida last month (February 18) after two breathalyzer tests indicated his blood alcohol level was .300 and 294 — nearly four times the state limit (.080). Michelle Mangan-Damon, Damon's wife (who urged him to refuse the breathalyzer tests), was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer and resisting an officer with violence.

Damon was spotted by police swerving on the road before striking a curb and a guardrail. Damon claimed he'd had only "a little bit" to drink, making a small pinching gesture with his fingers. The arrest report said he was "extremely unsteady on his feet" and his speech was "extremely slurred".

Damon griped that he's a target because he voted for Donald Trump. He whined like a true conservative, implying he should not have been stopped because he's "all for cops":

Believe me, I am Blue Lives Matter. What are you doing right now? We are all for cops. Guys, we are all for cops. . . . I'm a good fucking guy . . . I know people are trying to target me because I'm a Trump supporter.


Shawn K said...

I'll still rewatch his grand slam on a regular basis but good Lord talk about making it hard to let Yankee signing bygones be bygones.

allan said...

"Feebly Mumbling "Blue Lives Matter" Did Not Get Johnny Damon Out Of His DUI Arrest"

When asked by the cop where he and his wife were coming from, Damon says they were at London House . . . When asked what exactly London House is, Damon responds, "It's a guy with a lot of money to, um, take care of, uh, taxes, and all that stuff. So he's, uh … we were just having a good time there." Sounds like a cool place!

(with bodycam footage!)

Anonymous said...

"a guy with a lot of money to, um, take care of uh, taxes and all that stuff."
I think everyone just has to get used to the fact that spoiled multimillionaires who still manage to lead unhappy lives with substance problems and money problems—that particular demographic will always feel a connection with Trump. And lots of retired ballplayers are included in that demographic.